Somebody to Die For
by Paintedwings77
Summary: Clara remembers. She remembers all the lives she has lived saving the Doctor. Some memories come on fast, while others seem to come in their own time. One memory comes to Clara one day. She remembers saving the Doctor who fell in love with her. The one who would change everything, even his own future to save his Clara. 10th/11th/Clara/Allonswin **Romance/Drama/Angst With fluff!**
1. Chapter One - An old life

_I do not own or claim to own Doctor Who or its characters._

**This story will contain mature subjects and language, readers discretion is advised.**

I will not typically make Author's notes unless the chapter warrants one, so please make sure to remember to vote for this story. This helps me know that someone out there is enjoying my work, and if the mood strikes you please leave me a comment/review of your thoughts on the chapter you read. :)

_The Doctor's timeline is ever-changing so I am doing my best to keep true to the character and the timeline itself. This takes places after "The planet of the Ood" in the 10th Doctor's timeline. This will also take place after "The day of the Doctor," for the 11th Doctor, but before "The Time of the Doctor."  
Since we do not know when the 10th Doctor met the 11th Doctor in his timeline (albeit it was after Rose had departed.) So I am playing it by ear for that part._

_Last note, this story has two video trailers on YouTube. The links are located in my profile. Feel free to take a look._

Thank you.

Somebody to Die For

oOo  
Prologue  
oOo

Clara Oswin ... The impossible girl. The Doctor's impossible girl.

Well it is what he calls me, or has called me, or maybe it was just a dream? It is so hard to tell what is real and what isn't real sometimes. It feels like I have lived a thousand lives, thousands of memories all imprinted into my mind. Some of the memories came to me as soon as I entered the Doctor's time stream, while others come to me in dreams.

At other times it's almost like when you forget something and you know you are forgetting something, but for the life of you, you cannot remember what it is. Then suddenly, it hits you, like a ton of bricks, and you remember.

I have asked the Doctor why some of these memories are coming to me now. He says it's because it hasn't happened yet, or it's happening at this very moment. That never did make much sense to me, but then again, many things the Doctor says don't always make sense ... at least not right away.

_-"Time is not a straight line, Clara. It hops around; it is like a big ball of timey wimey."_

_-"Timey wimey? Really Doctor, now you are just talking gibberish."_

_-"Blame my last regeneration for that one."_

As much as that explanation made little sense to me, it has helped make me feel better. I don't think I am going mad after all.

I have memories, so many memories of copies of me saving the Doctor. Different faces of his, but they are all the same man. My Doctor.

When I ask him if he remembers me at all, he says no. He only knows me as I am now. I think he says that because he worries about me. I worry about me. I sometimes wonder if I am the real thing or just another copy and I will suffer from the same fate all my other-selves have.

I clearly remember the Doctor mentioning meeting me in the Victorian era. I was a governess. I know this because I remember. I recall meeting and saving my Doctor. I met him in the future as well, where I saved him again. But those two times he was as he is now, with the face that I have come to know and love.

I often wonder why he refuses to talk about all the other times I have saved him, when he was his past-self. That is usually when a familiar whisper can be heard in my head. I am not sure where it comes from but I can clearly hear the words resonate through my brain.

_The Man Who Forgets._

The Doctor, this Doctor, does not want to remember.

But I wish he would ... It would help make me see that this is real, that all this is not just a dream that these things really did happen.

I wasn't always this doubtful though. I've only been questioning everything for the last month. I never doubted any of my memories until recently, when I had the most powerful flashback yet of another me, of another life. A memory that left me breathless and heartbroken. A fleeting thought that I simply couldn't go on without him.

It just hurts too much to think about it.

This is the story of how I saved, loved and lost the tenth Doctor.

My Doctor.

**oOo**

**Chapter One  
An old life  
oOo**

"What do you think of this one?" Lara held a blue sweater up to her full-frame. "Clara?"

"Hmmm?" I turned to my best friend, glared at me. I knew that look ... I got that look all too often from people when I was supposed to be paying attention but I wasn't.

"I asked you three times what you thought of this top." She scolded.

"Oh, yeah, it's nice." I shrugged, still not fully paying attention.

She thrust the shirt back onto the shelf with an annoyed sigh. "I don't know why I bother bringing you shopping with me, you never pay attention." Lara pouted as she slowly strolled away to the next display.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

I never meant to be such an annoyance, but I seemed to always make people upset. I couldn't help it. Since I was a child I've had this feeling ... like I was waiting for something. It was like I was drifting through space and I was plunging down into an endless fall.

It's not that I didn't care, I was very passionate about several things, and one of those things was stargazing. In fact, I loved it so much that I was studying astronomy at the University. But it just felt like there was something missing, like I needed to do something but I couldn't quite recall what it was and right now it was to help my best friend shop.

I quickly hurried to catch up to Lara, who was now several aisles down. She held up a red jacket and when I stopped next to her she set it against my body. "Try this on; red always looks hot on you."

I slipped the pretty red coat on while Lara turned to me and adjusted the collar. I watched her hands work effectively. "I didn't mean to snap at you, Clara, I'm sorry." She apologized sincerely.

Looking up to her pretty, round face I forced a bright smile.

"It's alright, I know I can be annoying, I zone out ..." I tried to keep the large smirk plastered on my face, but as I spoke the words faltered and my face fell a bit.

"I know." She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

I nodded, and tried to listen to Lara, who launched into a long sermon of all the advice she had collected about insomnia since I had last told her I hadn't slept well in months. Lara had been my friend since elementary school, we had done everything together. From going to our first dance to consoling each other after our first heartbreak. Lara knew everything about me, and she understood me – sort of. She tried hard to understand what I felt, but I knew she didn't.

No one ever did.

I tried to concentrate on the many tips Lara was rambling off, but out of the corner of my eye I caught something moving, fast. I turned my head towards the large display window and noticed a very tall, lank man in a long brown coat running by. My heart rate abruptly picked up at the sight of him. I didn't know what he was running from, but judging by the expression on his face, whatever it was, it was important.

I furrowed my brow as I stared at the stranger, suddenly feeling something deep inside me stir, like I knew this man and I needed to follow him. No, not a need, it was deeper than that, it was an urge, almost like a deep instinct buried inside me.

The man soon disappeared from viewed.

I glanced back at Lara who was still talking while sorting through the large rack. I looked back at the window and took a step away from my friend, moving towards the large glass. _Who was that man?_ When I reached the window, I pressed my face against it, trying to get another look at him.

The sidewalk was filled with people, bustling by, going to work or just out shopping like I was, but no stranger in a long brown coat.

With a sigh, I decided to get back to Lara before she noticed I had wandered off and totally lose it with me. Even though my best friend was extremely tolerant with me, she also had limits, and I didn't want to spend the next week trying to make it up to her. But as I started to turn away, I saw him again. My heart sped up and my breath caught in my throat.

This time though he wasn't running, he was looking around, his head swiveled left and right, his eyes scanning the area as if he was desperately trying to find someone or something. My hands went to the window and I pushed my face against the glass, my sweaty palms pressed against the windows, my breath fogged up the glass as I stared in awe. I had to get a better look at him.

A few seconds later he walked by and I knew I had to get closer, but before I pulled away from the window I noticed another man. I couldn't understand why this other man had caught my attention but as I locked eyes on him, I noticed he was following the first man, close, way too close.

There was no way I could explain what happened next, except that something inside me told me to run. Every fiber in my body was screaming at me to run out there and save the man in the brown jacket. Without a second thought, I listened to my instincts and took off running to the door, which was only a few steps away from the window.

I burst through the doors and the shrill sound of an alarm started to buzz, but I ignored the annoying noise along with the shouts coming from behind me. I quickly looked to my left and spotted both men, the tall man had stopped near the edge of the sidewalk, seeming to be considering which way to go next. The other man was dressed in dark clothing which seemed to belong in the Victorian era. He stood behind the man with the brown jacket.

I quickly made an assessment of the situation and I realized that he was getting ready to push him; the man with the dark clothes leaned back slightly and got ready to shove the other man right out into London's busy road. I spurred into action and ran towards them just as the tall, lank man was pushed. He stumbled forward, losing his footing and fell right into the path of a speeding city bus.

I ran with everything I had inside me, suddenly wishing I was more in shape. I hopped off the curb and sprinted towards the man who had tumbled to his knees and seemed to be slightly confused by how he had gotten out into the road. Moments later, I came to a dead stop and reached for him. I grabbed his arm and with everything I had in me I tugged him up and off to the side.

"Come on!" I shouted.

With an unknown strength, I dragged him a few inches back, far enough out-of-the-way, just as the large double-decker bus honked and blew right by us, missing us by mere inches. Stunned and frightened I felt my whole body shake. The man panted hard and looked at me with shock.

"You saved me." He exclaimed, I nodded, unable to speak. "The bus would have hit me. Thank you."

He frowned for a moment as his eyes peculiarly peered at me. He then quickly stood up. When he did, I realized just how tall he really was. He towered me by several inches and I had to crane my neck up to look at him. He dusted off his long coat and glanced back at me. His eyes locked onto mine and I was memorized.

"Do I know you?" He asked suddenly.

I tried to concentrate on the question, but he stood so close to me it was a bit hard to think straight. "No, I don't think so." I managed to finally say, feeling very awkward.

I would have definitely remembered meeting someone like him before. Not only was he tall, but he was extremely handsome. His dark brown hair was slightly long and crazily styled as if he had just gotten out of bed. He had the most incredible hair I had ever seen on a man. His warm brown eyes were hypnotizing, they were full of curiosity and intelligence but there was also a deep sadness to them. His sorrowful eyes made it hard to look into them and not want to share the melancholy he was obviously feeling.

I quickly looked away, wondering what had happened to this gorgeous stranger with the sad eyes. "You were pushed ..." I said and groaned at my obvious statement. I quickly looked around for the man who had pushed him, but he was nowhere in sight. "He was just here ..."

The man crinkled his nose as he scanned the crowd of people, I had a feeling he was about to speak but before he got the chance too, I suddenly felt each of my arms being grabbed tightly. I twisted my head and saw a security guard on each side of me along with one directly behind.

"You need to come with us, miss." One said sternly.

"What?!" I wiggled and tried to get free from their rigid grasp.

"Stealing is a serious offence."

"I didn't –" But I quickly recalled the red coat. I looked down and groaned. I had run out of the shop with the red jacket. I had totally forgotten that I had slipped it on. The two guards that were holding onto me a bit too roughly spun me around and led me to the store. "It was a mistake, I wasn't stealing!" I cried, trying to wrench free from the sturdy hold they had on me.

I looked back at the man I had just saved, pleadingly hoping he would tell them I had just saved his life.

_Why wasn't he helping?_

As I glanced back, I noticed he was observing the situation but still said nothing. The two guards easily ignored my struggles and continued to escort me back towards the store just as Lara came rushing out.

"Clara! What is going on?" She hurried to my side "What happened?"

"Excuse us, miss, this young woman was caught stealing." The head guard swiftly brushed by Lara.

"Stealing? Don't be ridiculous!" Lara followed. "Clara, what did you get yourself into now?" She cried in alarm.

I said nothing, but once again peeked back at the man I had just saved. He stood as still as a statue, watching me, seeming to be deciding what he should do next. His face was strained as he ran a hand through his tousled hair making it stick up more in the air.

I stumbled slightly thanks to the guard's roughness but neither one seemed to care that I almost fell. Both guards grip tightened around my arms even more. I winced in pain but said nothing.

"Wait! Stop!" The tall man finally yelled. He ran to us and stood in front of the guards.

"Sir, move out of the way or we will have to arrest you as well."

The man simply grinned.

"I'd like to see you try." He dug into his long light brown duster-type overcoat, and pulled out a leather case, which opened, revealing a picture identification card. "I am chief-inspector Smith, with the Scotland Yard. He flashed the card through the air and quickly snapped the wallet shut and put it back into his jacket. "This young woman was working under my orders. I was doing a test ..." He paused and looked at me with a slight twinkle in his eyes. "It was a test to see if you were prepared to apprehend a real thief."

Two of the guards that were holding onto me glanced suspiciously at each other.

"You've passed with flying colors." The man exclaimed. "So let my associate go so she can get back to work." He demanded, his tone turning serious.

All three guards were silent for a moment, seeming to consider his words. The one at the front gave a curt nod and both guards let me go. I couldn't help but rub the spot where one of them had held on to me way too tightly.

"So yes, very well, thank you." The stranger grabbed my free hand and tugged me towards him, he bent down slightly and whispered in my ear. "Give them back the jacket." The closeness of him and his breath at my ear made me shiver, but I quickly snapped out of it and I took the coat off, I handed it back to one of the guards.

My rescuer grabbed my hand again. "Okay, then, well ..." He slowly backed away.

I wasn't too sure what was going on here, but I was sure this guy was not from the Scotland Yard.

"Hey, wait a minute ... "One of the guard's gave us a look of leer. "My sister works at the Scotland Yard, and the chief-inspector is not named Smith." The guard suddenly said.

And with that, the man's grip on my hand tightened and he flashed them a brilliant smile.

"Run!" He whispered.

Not giving me a chance to think twice he pulled me along with him.

I could have broken free, I could have stopped. But I didn't want too, I finally felt like something was right and there was no way I was letting go now. My stranger glanced behind us only to see the guards hot on our tails.

"STOP!" They yelled.

The man's face held a grin from ear to ear. He picked up the pace, never letting go of my hand. He peeked at me for a brief moment.

"I'm the Doctor, by the way and I don't plan on ever stopping, how about you?"


	2. Chapter Two - Doctor Who?

**oOo  
Chapter Two  
****Doctor Who?  
oOo**

We ran down Oxford Street, hands clasp tightly together, weaving left and right, going through the crowd of people. My breathing was ragged and heavy and it felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, my Oxford booties pounded hard on the pavement and I prayed that the heels wouldn't break.

Despite all the pitfalls, I had never felt so exhilarated and free.

The Doctor quickly glanced behind us to see if the guards were still chasing us. His face was damp with a fine sheet of sweat from the running but the way his mouth quirked at the corner in a secret smile and his eyes sparkled with mischief, he was as happy as I felt. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I felt my face flush even more. He gave me a large grin and an impish winked, which made a laugh escaped my lips.

We ran for another block before the Doctor took a sharp right down one of the many alleys. I followed close behind him, keeping a death grip on our sweaty hand. He took another right and seconds later he came to an abrupt stop, only then did he let go of my hand.

The Doctor bent forward and put his hands on his knees; he panted hard, his chest rapidly heaving up and down with his labored breathing. With his head lowered he let out a chuckle which came out as a snort as he tried to catch his breath. I sank against the wall and tried to regulate my shallow breaths.

"Do ... you ... think ... we ... lost them?" I asked in between pants.

"Oh, I think it's safe to say yes." He laughed again, obviously feeling giddy from our escape.

We had easily run a mile and I doubted that any of those guards were in any sort of shape to have kept up with us, even though I had been wearing heels.

"I will never be able to go back to that store." I heaved myself off the wall and attempted to straighten my short floral Parisian dress, which clung to my body thanks to the marathon we had just run.

We had had turned down a typical London alleyway, it was narrow and even though it was late afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky, the alley had a dark, dreary look to it. The Doctor smiled and straightened up to his full height and towered over me with his six-foot two frame, reminding me just how short I really was at five foot three.

His face suddenly became stern and his eyes bore over me, making me feel self-conscience. Keeping his eyes on me he took a step forward, but as he did so, I couldn't help but notice that something swam underneath the surface of his calm gaze. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but it was almost like the look a predator had when he watched his prey. It was chilling and unnerving.

I couldn't help but take a step back as he took his forward, suddenly feeling very trapped.

"Do you make a habit of taking jumpers from shops?" He asked his face serious.

"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous." I crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to be intimidated by this man.

"Well ... It's just a little ... odd." He took another step towards me. I matched his step and went backwards but there was nowhere left for me to go, my back hit the wall. "You were all the way inside that little shop, and somehow you were quick enough to spot the danger and save me."

I furrowed my brow at his statement. I couldn't tell him that I had noticed him before and had been watching him, that was simply too embarrassing. Refusing to back down, I tilted my head up defiantly as he stopped inches from me.

"I didn't know saving someone's life meant I would be interrogated." I glared up at the stranger and couldn't help but notice his soft, brown eyes looking at me curiously not accusingly like his tone suggested. I also noted the dusting of freckles on his cheeks and nose and thought how incredibly attractive he looked.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ I scolded, annoyed at myself. "Who are you anyway, you said Doctor, doctor who?" I snapped, irritated with my silliness of noticing the strangers appearance.

His eyes sparkled with humor.

"Oh, it's just the Doctor."

"Just _the Doctor_? What sort of name is that?"

"It's mine." He grinned and leaned in even closer. "And who are you?" His breath tickled the side of my neck.

"Clara." I swallowed thickly, all too aware of him. "Clara Oswald."

"Well, Clara, thank you, for saving me."

I gave a single curt nod, finding it hard to concentrate on anything but the strange man in front of me. I usually wasn't a tongue-tied ninny around men. I had always been at ease, but the Doctor was giving me the strangest feeling. I felt this undeniable pull to him and it was very unnerving.

Unintentionally, my body started to lean forward and closer to him. Annoyed at my impulsive behavior, I side stepped around the Doctor, I had to get away from him.

"Who was that man anyway, the one who pushed you?" I hurried and asked, trying to keep my brain busy with something other than the Doctor.

He spun around and faced me. His expression turned thoughtful.

"I have no idea. I didn't see him, only you did."

"Oh ..." I paused for a moment, recalling the creepy man. "He was dressed in dark clothes, and they were Victorian like, as if he was on his way to a play or something. He looked broody, angry ..." I trailed off noticing the Doctor didn't seem to be listening and I was probably sounding like an idiot.

The Doctor's expression was absent. He started to mumble in a low voice.

"It really could be anybody ... Although probably not a Dalek, it's not like them at all, and I don't see a Cyberman doing this." He started to pace and speak rapidly. "I wonder ..." He spun around on the heels of his maroon converses and marched by me several times. "It's possible ..." He ran his hand through his hair. "But no ... it couldn't be!" He suddenly just stopped and turned to me. "Well, yes, thank you for saving me." He gave me a tight smile and turned away to leave.

"Where are you going?" I called, absolutely confused.

"I have things to do. But I am sure I will be seeing you again Miss Clara." He waved his hand through the air, not bothering to turn back.

**oOo**

When I reached my small flat, I took off my shoes and let out a sigh of relief. Those shoes were not meant to be ran in that was for sure. I tossed them into the corner by the door, my keys soon followed onto the coffee table and my black vest took a flight on the couch.

I lived in a small flat right off the University campus. The space was meager, the neighbors were loud and there always seemed to be something broken but it was mine and that was all that mattered.

I sank into my old couch with a sigh once again unable to help the feeling of emptiness taking hold of me. I felt all out of sorts and I couldn't understand why, in fact it was worse than it had been before I had met the Doctor.

The hollowness I felt inside had me was so distracting I had trouble focusing. On the way home I had gotten on the wrong bus, twice. Something was nagging at my consciousness, keeping me from thinking clearing.

_The Doctor._

The weird stranger I had met ... The man who, for a brief moment, had made me feel complete. With an exasperated groan, I was relieved no one could read my thoughts because I would sound absolutely mad, I had only been with this man for an hour. There was no way I could form any sort of feelings or attachment to a person in that short amount of time.

The sudden feeling of my backside vibrating brought me out of my thoughts. Realizing I was sitting on my phone I quickly grabbed my jumper from under me and dug the phone from one of the pockets.

"Hello?" I answered not bothering to look who was phoning.

"Clara Oswald! I should have you strung up naked and flogged!" Lara's shrill voice filled my ear with her scream_. Damn. I had forgotten about her_. "Do you know what I have been doing for the last three hours?"

I was afraid to ask, but as the silence stretched out, I knew she was waiting for my reply.

"What?" I croaked out, wishing the couch would swallow me up.

"Sitting in that bloody shop security office, answering questions about you and your accomplice!" She howled. I flinched, wishing I had remembered my best friend. "When they finally let me go, I spent the rest of the time looking for you, because I knew you didn't know that man, and thought you might have been kidnapped or bloody murdered! I phoned your mobile a hundred times and you never answered. I was worried sick about you!"

"I'm so sorry, Lara –"

"You better be bloody sorry because I am at your door and I think I might just murder you."

The sharp, angry knock resounded through the apartment. I quickly stood and rushed to the door to let Lara in, deciding it was best to not make her wait with the mood she was in. When I opened the door, her murderous gaze locked onto me.

"How could you just leave me like that?" She stormed inside, shoving her mobile into her purse.

"I – I forgot." I shut the door and turned around but could not bring myself to look at my best friend in the eye.

"Seriously? _You forgot_?!" She stomped to the kitchen and grabbed the half full bottle of wine from the refrigerator. Popping the cork angrily she took a long drink straight from the bottle and came back out to the living room. "You are lucky you are my best friend or I would never talk to you again." She snapped, sitting on the couch.

I said nothing, giving Lara a couple of minutes to cool off. I went to the kitchen to grabbed two wine glasses. I understood why she was so upset and frankly I couldn't blame her. But I really didn't have a valid excuse to give her. I could not justify the fact that I had totally forgotten about her.

When I came back out, Lara had downed a quarter of the bottle; I offered her a glass with a small peace offering smile. Reluctantly, she poured some wine in my glass than hers. I sat down next to her and waited for the question I knew she was going to ask.

Lara didn't disappoint, she asked as soon as I was seated.

"Who was that man?"

"I have no idea ..." I took a small sip from the glass, letting the tart, fruity taste linger in my mouth for a moment before swallowing.

Lara was silent for several minutes before speaking again.

"You just took off with him." It was more of a statement then a question. But I felt the need to nod in acknowledgment. "What happened after you two ran?"

"I don't know ..." I shrugged, "nothing, we just ran ..." I paused as the memories flooded back to me and I let myself basked in the feeling that for that brief instant everything had made sense in my life. "We ran down Oxford Street and turned down an alley after we lost the guards. He said thanks for saving him and he just left." I finished crisply.

Lara's eyebrow quirked at the sound of bitterness in my voice. "So you didn't know him?"

"No, he said his name was the Doctor ... and that was it."

"A doctor eh?" Lara took a long drink from her glass. "Well the world needs more doctors like him because he was certainly gorgeous to look at." Glancing at Lara, we both burst out laughing. This is why I loved her so much, she always forgave me, no matter what idiocy I did. Once our laughter died down though, Lara grew serious once more. "When you ran with him, with your doctor ..." She paused as if searching for the right words. "It was like ... your face, it was pure bliss, and you looked at him like he was the world, Clara. Like you had found home."

Her statement took me by surprise. The Doctor had felt like home, but I had not expected anyone on the outside to have noticed.

"When I saw him ... when I touched him ... It was like I was meant to be there, by his side." I whispered, staring into the glass of red wine.

"Then he must be the one you've been waiting for." She said firmly.

I glanced at Lara, wondering if she was right.

**oOo**

The next morning came much too soon. It felt like I had just collapsed into bed when my alarm started screeching. I crawled from beneath my covers, blurry eyed and cotton mouthed. Lara had ended up sleeping on my couch since we had finished the rest of the wine and neither one of us were in any shape to do anything except go to bed. I wasn't a big drinker so it hadn't taken much to get me tipsy.

Unfortunately though the alcohol did nothing to help me relax and even after Lara had turned in for the night I had not gone to sleep. Thoughts of the Doctor had kept me up half the night and when I had finally convinced myself to forget him because I probably would never see him again, the sun had started to rise.

I quickly got in the shower and turned the water on as hot as it would go, letting it rain over me until it burned and made me hiss with pain. I eased the cold water on and the temperature reached a relaxing point. I tried to wash away the long night I had.

It's not like the Doctor and I had exchange numbers or anything of the sorts. London was a huge city, there was no way I would ever see him again. But why did this one man make me feel like I had to see him again, as if my life depended on it?

When my skin was sufficiently pruned, I was no closer to any answers but I really had to get to class, so I got out and toweled off. I dressed in a cute little blue Skater Dress along with a light blue blazer that matched and hurried off to class before I ended up missing the whole thing.

**oOo**

I rushed on campus to my advance calculus class, which I despised and was struggling with. I passed several loitering students, all busy texting or furiously typing on their laptops and tablets, which gave me the idea to try and search up the Doctor on the internet later, I had to learn more about this man who I could not forget.

Arriving at the classroom I took a deep breath before entering. My professor was a stickler and he hated tardy people. He always enjoyed humiliating his students for being late. I mentally braced myself for the coming onslaught, and rushed inside the room. I did a quick scan, keeping my head low as if that would somehow camouflage my entrance. I spotted an open desk immediately and tiptoed my way in.

"Right then, I see everyone is here." The stern voice echoed.

I froze. It was not the monotone, droning voice of my professor. I slowly looked up and my jaw dropped. There, leaning lazily against the desk at the front of the class was the most enigmatic man I had ever met. His eyes locked on mine and he gave me a cocky grin.

"I'm the Doctor, and I am replacing your last professor ... just for the day. Apparently someone gave him an impossible equation to solve, and now he won't leave his office until he solves it." The Doctor nonchalantly scratched his chin. "I will give him the right answer later, but for now; let's just have some fun shall we."

I sat down, stunned. _How had he gotten in here?_ The Doctor grabbed one of the volumes from the desk and opened the large book to the middle. His nose crinkled, and his eyes squinted as if what he saw was distasteful. He then dug into his blue blazer and pulled out a pair of glasses which he slipped onto his nose.

-"Right, then, let's see ..." He flipped through the book with displeasure and after a few moments he shut it with a loud clap and tossed it back on the desk. "So if you are traveling at four times the speed of light and your oscillating modulator is broken, where is the best place to stop?" The Doctor paused. "No wait ... early twenty-first century earth, no space travel yet ... Scratch that."

I watched him curiously as he had continued the strange argument with himself on what to do next, but after a few minutes my mind start to drift.

_There was something I was supposed to do ... what was it?_

"Miss, Oswald?"

The sound of my name being called brought me back. I quickly blinked and looked around the now empty classroom.

"Welcome back!" The Doctor said with a smile, he was crouched at the front of my desk.

I groaned and wished the earth would swallow me up. "I did it again ... How long ...?"

"Oh not to long ... I dismissed everyone early, I forgot how dull regular early twenty-first century mathematics was."

I furrowed my brow at his odd comment. "You say some of the oddest things ..."

He grinned widely as if that comment pleased him.

I tried to ignore the butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was causing thanks to his close proximity to me. I tried to ignore them but it was rather hard when those butterflies felt more like a herd of elephants trampling around in there. What was it about this man that put me all out of sorts?

"How can you be teaching this class?" I blurred out, annoyed.

That question made his face grow serious. He stood up and straightened his jacket. "Why don't we go for a walk?" He offered.

**oOo**

Outside, it was an unseasonably warm day. Students all over campus were enjoying the early spring weather; some were lounging on the large grassy area, sunbathing, while others were tossing a rugby ball back and forth. The air was filled with the exciting chatter of students and the call of birds. Several happy couples walked by us, holding hands or arm in arm with each other. Spring was definitely in the air.

The Doctor and I silently strolled down the well-worn path until it became less crowded and only the sound of our feet crunching over the gravel was left around us.

"Clara ... Yesterday you saved my life." I turned my head slightly over to look at the Doctor and nodded. "I really am thankful for that ... Usually I am not so distracted, and when I am I typically have this woman with me, Donna ... she watches my back."

The Doctor awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. I wasn't quite sure where this was going, or why he telling me about his girlfriend ... "But see the man who pushed me ... the whole thing felt ... well off." He stopped walking and grabbed my arm. "I don't think that was ever meant to happen, but it did and I somehow think you are connected to it."

I looked at him strangely.

"What do you mean? I don't understand ..."

"I don't really understand either, but when I look at you, Clara Oswald, it's like I am supposed to know you, like I do know you, but I can't remember it for some reason." He rubbed his tousled hair as if that would somehow help him remember. "I looked into you, and you don't make sense."

"I'm sorry?"

"You are studying Astronomy, but you are terrible at mathematics and physics, how are you even still in this program? You have no family, it's like they never existed, there are no records, well there is of your mother and father dying years ago, but nothing makes sense about it." His grip got tighter on my arm. "So who are you Clara?"

I suddenly felt fear creep down into my spine. This was such a turn of emotions for him, he had been so nice and now ... Anger blazed in his eyes.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." My voice climbed in panic.

The Doctor leaned in closer to me, so close that his chest touched mine. All my senses came alive. He stared at me and we both remained unmoving for several minutes.

"Doctor!" His named being called from behind us made us both turn around. "Doctor!" A woman yelled, jogging towards us. She stopped a couple of feet from us, panting hard. "I saw him; he walked inside the campus a few minutes ago and he was headed straight for the science department."

"Fantastic!" The Doctor let go of my arm and clapped his hand together. "Now it's time to get some answers." He started to walk back the way we came, leaving me standing there gaping at him. "Come on, Donna, Clara." He ordered without turning.

I could have easily just walk away in the other direction. Ignored him and just strolled away from everything. His strange mood swings and accusation were almost too much for me. It was obvious this man had some sort of mental instability or something going on.

_I should just go. Turn around and go home._

But I didn't. I turned and blindly followed the Doctor. The woman called Donna fell into step next to me, while the Doctor was several feet ahead of us.

"I bet I know what is going through your head right now." She said in a low tone.

"Oh I don't know about that ..."

Donna grinned.

"Oh I know ... Because I've been in your shoes." She glanced at the Doctor then back at me. "You are telling yourself you must be mad to follow this strange man. How can you want to follow him without questions? You think he is the biggest nutter you have met, and that there is something wrong with you for still wanting to follow him."

Taken aback that she was practically dead right, my eyes involuntary moved to the Doctor's back. Donna let out a sharp laugh.

"I've been there, oh hell. I still ask myself that same question every day." She smiled fondly at the Doctor's back. "He might not seem like it right now, but he is the most brilliant man you will ever met, and I would do anything for him."

"You must love him very much." I replied, having a bit of a hard time hiding the sudden onset of bitterness.

"Oh I do ..." Donna looked at me and shook her head. "Not like that!" She playfully slapped my arm. "We aren't like that. He isn't my type at all."

I nodded wanting to believe Donna. But truth was, I would have followed the Doctor without Donna's encouraging words. This man was connected to me somehow and I had to know more. We soon arrived at the science building where we had just been for my calculus class.

"What exactly are we doing?" I asked Donna.

The Doctor had abruptly stopped walking and turned to us. He answered my question. "The man who pushed me is here. I had Donna watching for him, I knew he'd show up here."

"What? Why?" I asked panicked.

But the answer didn't come from the Doctor.

"To look for you, of course, Clara. I should have expected you would be here."

We all turned to face the man who I had seen push the Doctor yesterday. He still wore his dark Victorian clothing, which looked a bit ridiculous, but it took nothing away from his hate filled expression and menacing glare.

"How – how do you know me?"

He took a step closer but the Doctor quickly moved in front of me, putting himself between the stranger and me.

"Who are you?" The Doctor demanded.

The creepy man ignored him.

"You have ruined every single chance I have gotten to change his past." He pointed to the Doctor. "I will not fail again; you have gotten in my way for the last time, Clara Oswald." He raised a gun which was aimed at me. "My name is Walter Simeon and I am the Great Intelligence." He gave us a sinister smile, "and I am the one who brings down the last Time Lord!"


	3. Chapter Three - Strange Memories

**oOo  
Chapter Three**  
**Strange Memories  
oOo**

There are certain moments in our lives that it feels like you are watching them from the outside. It's almost like an out-of-body experience. It's also one of those occasions where everything is done on instinct, practically like it was engraved into you. I think it's what separated the people who are good in a crisis and those who just crumble under pressure. I always thought I would be one of those that would run and hide. But I was dead wrong. It turned out I was braver then I ever gave myself credit for.

"Impossible!" The Doctor spat at the man who called himself Walter. "The last time I saw you ..." The Doctor trailed off as if the memory of the past were too awful to remember.

"Oh but it's very possible my good Doctor." Simeon grinned, still holding his gun, pointed at both the Doctor and me.

I had never seen either man in my life, yesterday had been the first time. Yet being near both Simeon and the Doctor at the same time made my whole body hum with excitement. It was almost as if this had happened once before. The Doctor and I standing in front of Simeon. Every instinct inside of me screamed to protect the Doctor, whatever I did just protect the Doctor ... at whatever cost.

Those words echoed through my head. _At whatever cost_.

"Why now? Why are you back here, now?" The Doctor demanded.

"I think I preferred your other regeneration Doctor, you were much cleverer." Simeon said in a bored tone.

The Doctor and the insane Victorian man exchange words back and forth, but I paid little attention. My mind was a whirlwind of strange thoughts and images. Pictures of me with a man who I loved and had to protect. The Doctor.

_My Doctor_.

As those two words floated through my brain, a strange hallucination clouded my vision.

_I stood in front of a bright light. It shined red and sparkled brightly. I glanced at the man lying on the ground._

_"If this works, get out of here as fast as you can. And spare me a thought now and then."_

_"No, Clara." He twisted his head in my direction. His gaze was clouded with pain and sorrow, but I knew he saw me, his sad eyes begging me to stop. I ignored his plea._

_"In fact, you know what? Run. Run, you clever boy, and remember me."_

_"No. Clara!" He screamed loudly for me, but it was too late._

_Nothing would stop me. I had to save him, my Doctor. I bravely stepped into the time stream, and everything went black._

With a gasp I blinked several times, and looked around. I was back. Actually I had never left ... I stood outside with the Doctor who was a few inches in front of me. Simeon still had his gun pointed at us.

At that very moment, I knew what I had to do. My hand cautiously slipped into my jumper pocket and I felt the familiar small can of mace Lara had insisted I carry everywhere with me.

_"Single women in the city need to protect themselves, Clara. You never know when know when you will need it." Lara had said the day I had gotten my own place._

Suddenly glad I had followed her advice; my hand tightly squeezed the cool can. I knew what I had to do.

"How long have you been in that poor man's body, Yog-Sothoth." The Doctor asked.

"Walter Simeon was nothing without me!" He shouted, obviously getting annoyed with the Doctor.

As both men went back and forth, it gave me the perfect chance to side-step around the Doctor without him noticing and by the time he did, I was too far for him to grab me.

"Clara!" He shouted, much like the man in that weird vision had done, but I ignored him and the confused feelings it brought to me.

I slowly walked toward Simeon as he watched me cautiously and aimed the gun right at my chest. "You said you knew me." I stopped several feet away from him; in fact I was exactly at the mid-point between the Doctor and Simeon. "How do you know me? I have never seen you before."

Simeon seemed perplexed for a moment, but he then let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh, this is rich!" He cackled. "You always remember me, and you always remember him." He spat the last part swinging his gun towards the Doctor for a moment, before aiming at me again. "I have chased him for the last ten regenerations, and you always know."

"Okay, well I am a little slow so explain it to me." I took two small steps towards him. I needed to be at least six feet from him for this can of mace to hit him.

"Clara! For Gallifrey sake!" I heard the Doctor start to come towards me.

Simeon turned his hate filled gaze towards the Doctor.

"Do not move Doctor, or I will shoot her before you can even blink." Simeon shouted.

"She has nothing to do with this. Let her go, please, she doesn't know what she is doing." The Doctor begged.

"Oh, I beg to differ. Isn't that right Clara? You came after me, and you were torn into a million pieces, copies of you all over the universe, just to save him. But he never notices you ... or at least not until this one." Simeon gave a devious grin that made my skin crawl. "An interesting turn of events ... I might just want to keep you both around a bit longer to see what happens."

"Clara is from my future?" The Doctor asked, now as curious in what Simeon had to say as I was.

But Simeon never could answer because he had forgotten one thing. Donna. Out of nowhere the feisty redhead came charging from behind him with a long stick. She swung and hit him dead in between the shoulder blades. Simeon crumbled to the ground with a groan and seconds later I felt the Doctor's warm hand grab my free hand.

"Come on!" He shouted.

Donna blew by us, running like a woman on fire.

"Good work Donna." The Doctor called.

"Well someone has to save your behind, spaceman." She shouted back.

The Doctor chuckled and pulled me with him. I wanted to ask how they could joke at a time like this, but everything Simeon had said was swirling inside my head like a group of angry bees.

What had Walter Simeon meant, I had gone after him and I had been scattered through the universe? The vision I had ... I entered this light which had been a doorway and I disappeared, was that what Simeon was talking about?

**oOo**

I blindly ran with the Doctor, not paying attention to where he was leading me, until he came to a dead stop and I crashed right into him.

"Oof..." I gasped as my chest ram into his hard back.

The Doctor quickly spun around and put his hands on each of my arm to steady me. My eyes jetted to his face and I immediately felt myself flush. There was just something about the way he looked at me that made me feel like I was special ... as if I actually mattered to him.

"You alright there, Clara?" He asked looking down at me briefly. I managed to give a weak nod and to my dismay he turned to Donna. "We need to find out more on how Simeon's got here. He is part of the great old ones; he can't travel without the help of a body, so he must have a ship or something ..."

"The great old ones? I take it you knew this guy at some point." Donna asked curiously, trying to catch her breath.

"The Great Intelligence is what he calls himself now ... His name was Yog-Sothoth and he was part of an ancient civilization ... his kind evolved over thousands of years until they moved to another dimension where they became formless, shapeless ... things, floating out in space like a cloud of mist, only with a mind and will. It's like a mind parasite; it locks onto a host and uses its body."

"So it possesses a person?" I asked, trying to keep up with this very strange conversation.

The Doctor looked down at me and a small flash of delight flared in his eyes at my statement. "Yes." He nodded.

"That's awful ... so that man, he probably doesn't even know what is happening to him?" I thought out loud.

"Well ... I don't know, the human isn't my biggest concern ... Simeon's seems to know more about all this then we do, and I don't like that at all." The Doctor brow knitted together in a worrisome crease.

"Well then, we should get to work and find out exactly what he wants." Donna said excitedly from behind me. "That is if you two can keep your hands off each other."

The Doctor was still clutching onto my arms tightly. His fingers curled into the fabric of my blazer. I awkwardly shifted on my feet and the Doctor cleared his throat. I let out an embarrass laugh as his hands dropped from my arm.

Donna snickered.

After the Doctor let me go, I got a good look at where we had ended up. We were not far from the University; actually we were still on campus, but on the other side near where the gyms were located. The small alleyway we had gone down was deserted except for one of those old retro, blue phone boxes.

-"Yes ... well, then ..." The Doctor turned to the phone box, obviously uncomfortable and dug a key from his jacket. "I am sure that Simeon's will be laid out for a while but just to be safe I should probably move this," he patted the phone box affectionately, "further out of the way, before we do anything."

I furrowed my brow at his strange statement. _Was he leaving? _There was no way in hell he was going to leave me when I had a million questions to ask him.

"I really think that you both need to answer some of my questions." I ran in front of the box's door, blocking the way. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the Doctor.

The Doctor paused his key in midair. "I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm sorry?"

His face was grim as his sobering stare met mine. The Doctor seemed to be having some sort of inner struggle on what to say next, but that only made my annoyance grow. My temper finally snapped.

"Listen, I have no idea who you are, and who that lunatic was back there, but I want no part of this craziness. All I did was pull you back from being hit by a bus! That is all." My breathing got heavier. All my anger and frustration had bubbled out and now the Doctor was the recipient of it all. My heart was slamming hard in my chest. "You tell me I don't make sense, then that crazy man rants on about how I am just some sort of copy. You and Donna are going on about possessed people ... And to top it off I got this weird vision, I cannot handle this!" I raised my arms in the air, exasperated.

"Weird vision?"

Donna delicately cleared her throat and reached for the Doctor's key he still had in his hand.

"Yes, well, I will leave you two to work this all out." She scooted by me and unlocked the phone box door. She slipped inside without another word.

I paid no attention to her, and the Doctor wasn't either. His hard gaze bore into me, making me feel quite uncomfortable. "What vision, Clara?" He firmly asked again.

"It was nothing ..."

But the Doctor obviously didn't agree that it was nothing. He put his hand firmly on my arm. I felt the warmth of his hands through my blazer, and despite it being warm out, I felt my skin goose bump at his touch.

"I have something to show you." His tone was a bit softer this time.

I didn't answer but just gave a slow nod, unsure what brought on this sudden change. The Doctor smiled and pointed at the phone box.

"It's an old phone box ..." I sighed, my patience wearing thin.

"Oiy, it's not just some old phone box. Why don't you step inside and look."

I gave him a skeptical look.

"You want me to go in there?" That's when it dawned on me. "Donna is there ..." I gasped. "You pervert!" I slapped him hard in the arm and he recoiled, shocked. "Whatever sick games you and her are into, I will not take part of."

"Hey!" The Doctor flinched but I didn't miss the amusing flicker in his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous! Just open the door."

The Doctor moved to my side looking at me expectantly. _Fine, whatever, let me open the door so he can get his jollies and then I can go home._ I reached out and pushed on the wood door, which opened with a small familiar creak. When it was widely opened I took a step forward, then another.

The box beckoned me to come in. I only stopped once both my feet were inside.

"Oh my gosh ..." I whispered flabbergasted.

The Doctor walked in behind me. I heard the door shut and he scooted by me, taking off his long brown coat and tossing it off to the side.

"It's ... It's ..."

The Doctor turned towards me with a giant grin.

This couldn't be right. I ran back outside and looked up at the box. Maybe it was attached to the building? I quickly ran around, but soon saw that the phone box was not linked to anything. I made my way back to the door and hurried back inside for another look. The Doctor stood in the center near a big hexagon console. When I walked back inside he looked up at me with expectant smile.

"It's smaller on the outside..."

The Doctor let out an unexpected loud laugh. "Yes, I supposed it is."

"But ... I don't understand ... Who are you?"

"I told you, I'm the Doctor, and this is my TARDIS." He said as if that should explain it all.

"Time Lord." I recalled the words from earlier. "Simeon's called you a Time Lord." I cautiously walked up the ramp to the strange console in the middle.

"Yes ..." He answered with a flinch as if admitting that caused him pain.

"You are not human then?"

"No, I'm a Time Lord, and I am nine hundred and forty years old."

"Nine hundred ..." I choked out. Aliens, a box that was smaller on the outside ... "How can you be almost a thousand years old?" I asked the first question that popped into my mind.

The Doctor frowned and walked towards me, stopping inches from me, making me pause in my inspection.

"And an alien." He said with humor.

"But you don't look nine hundred and forty ..." My eyes roamed his young face that didn't look any older than in its early thirties.

He shrugged as if living that long was ... normal, but his eyes said something else. There was such sadness in them that looking into them broke my heart. Before I could even realize what I was doing, my fingers gently glided down his cheek. The coarse hairs of his slightly unshaven cheek scratched at my fingertips. His gaze turned to surprise as he watched me.

"It must get lonely ..." I whispered. His eyes flared with heat and I knew I was stepping on dangerous grounds, going somewhere I was definitely not prepared for. I quickly pulled my hand away and turned my focus onto the inside of the TARDIS.

It was a large room which was basked in a greenish glow from all the lights. The central console made a low humming sound and lights blinked everywhere. But even as strange and out of this world all this seemed, it all felt so familiar. How could that even make sense? The Doctor was still standing so close to me that I could smell his comforting scent. His eyes always watching and seeking, never missing a thing.

"So you fly this thing around and what? Save the world from monsters?" I tried to fill the uncomfortable silence.

"Sometimes." He replied and leaned in closer to me, as if he were inspecting something on my face.

"Many people have walked through those doors, all of them with different reactions." His tone was low. "But never have I ever met someone who seemed ... well ... indifferent." He almost sounded insulted.

"I'm sorry ... It's really quite amazing ..." I trailed off, unsure why I suddenly had the worst Déjà vu feeling.

"It's almost like you have seen it before." The Doctor mumbled, as if he were reading my thoughts.

I wanted to ask him to repeat that, but suddenly like a bolt of lightning had hit me, my whole body became rigid and I remembered the vision from earlier. Not so much what happened but where I had been in the dream ... it almost looked like this. It had slight differences; the place in my vision looked old, deteriorated. It appeared that a battle had taken place, but the feel of the place ... it felt like this.

"Clara?" I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the ground, slightly propped up on the Doctor lap. When he noticed my eyes open he gave me a bright smile. "Clara, hi."

"What happened?" I groaned.

"You just sort of fainted."

I frowned and quickly recalled the memory that had come back again. Memory. Was that what this was? Unable to control myself my whole body started to shake and a sob escaped my lips.

"I don't understand ... what is happening to me?"

"I'm not sure ... but I think you are remembering." The Doctor said quietly.

"Remembering what?" I whispered.

"I don't know ..." I looked up at the Doctor, in his big sad eyes and I knew he was lying.

"I don't believe you." I countered, suddenly feeling better.

He squeezed my hand, and my breath caught in my throat.

"Clara, I'm a time traveler, I don't understand everything that happens, and unfortunately things don't always happen in the right order ... But according to Simeon you are from my future, somehow ..."

"That makes no sense at all." I quickly scrambled to my feet, I needed to put some distance between him and I, I couldn't think straight. "We just met." I started to pace. "If we just met, how can I be from your future?" I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"It's best if you don't think about it too hard ..." Donna's voice suddenly appeared from a doorway. She gave me a sympathetic smile. "You could go mad trying to understand some of the things he says and lives through, sometimes it's best to just go with it."

The Doctor gave Donna an annoyed look but said nothing. He stood and straightened his blue blazer with red pinstripes. His eyes narrowed on me.

"I just feel like I should know who you are." He groaned frustrated, running his hand roughly through his hair. "But for now ... we will have to wait ..." He trailed off.

I nodded. He was right, there was nothing neither one of us could do. But waiting patiently was not one of my qualities...

"Okay, so now what?"

The Doctor grinned and ran to the console. He started pressing buttons and pulling levers.

"Well Simeon will come after you. For whatever reason he seems to think you are a bigger threat then I am right now." He stopped moving for a moment and tilted his head to the side. "That's never happened before." He quickly shrugged and resumed his erratic button pushing. "So you just need to hide for a while, and I will figure out what he is up too."

"So I am supposed to just sit here and wait?"

"Well ..."

"No way!" I cried.

The Doctor seemed pensive for a moment but then his face broke into a giant grin. "We could go somewhere." He walked around the console and pressed another couple of buttons.

"Where?"

"I want to show you something special."

"Oh ..." I watched him skeptically but the giant smile on his face was rather contagious and I soon found myself smiling with him. "Okay ..."

"We'll be limited on time though." He glanced up at one of the screens as if he was checking the time. "We have to return here in a few hours."

I walked closer to him, letting my fingers glide along the console, feeling the cool metal under my fingers.

:Where are we going?"

"Not where ... when." The Doctor's face lit up even more as he pressed a last button and turned to me.

I swallowed hard. "When?" I croaked out, feeling my heart skip a beat.

He closed the distance between us. "1718." To my surprise he brushed my cheek with his knuckles. "That is when we are going, Clara Oswald."

My mouth fell open; I then snapped it shut as I shook my head disbelief.

"What is in 1718?" I asked, trying to keep myself together. But as those words left my lips this sudden surge of excitement went through me.

"I want you to meet a friend of mine."

The excitement buzzed and bubbled over and I could not contain it any longer.

"I should pack, do I need to pack? I should get my passport ..." I spoke a mile a minute as I pushed away from him to get to the door but he pulled me back so suddenly that I slammed hard into his chest. My hands few to his blazer lapel and our eyes locked on each other.

"We leave now."

With that he reached to my side and pushed down on a lever. The engines powered up, the floor started to shake and the most peculiar sound filled the air. The Doctor smirked, "Allons-y!"


	4. Chapter Four - Trust Me

**oOo  
Chapter Four**  
**Trust Me  
oOo**

The engine loudly wheezed and groaned. The TARDIS shook and rattled violently and I started to fall to my left. I quickly caught myself on the side of the console only to be thrown to the right. Unable to hold on, my fingers slipped away from the console and I started to tumble backwards. I braced myself for the hard impact, but it never did come. Instead I felt a warm pair of hands grab onto me and pull me backwards.

The Doctor pulled me into his arms and against his chest. His hands locked down around my waist, holding me steady against him. I gasped in surprise. His breathing was fast and stirred the hair by my temple. His chest moved against my back with each breath he took. He held me steady until the TARDIS came to a stop minutes later. The engine slowly quieted and powered down.

"Bloody hell, that was rough." Donna cried from the other side of the console. "It was worse than usual."

To my dismay the Doctor dropped his arms from around me and rushed to the monitor.

"It was ... I am not sure why ..." He gave a worried look at the long tube which was located in the middle of the console. "It's like she didn't want to leave." He patted the cool metal of the TARDIS affectionately.

I watched him curiously petting the machine just as Donna came up beside me.

"He does that a lot ..." She whispered with humor. "He might be an all-powerful Time Lord, but when it comes to the TARDIS he is a typical man with his machine."

I let out a loud laugh and the Doctor glanced at us with a reprimanding look for a moment, but it didn't last. Seconds later he clapped his hands together and like an excited child on Christmas morning he rushed to the doors.

"Are you ready?" He slipped on his long brown jacket and turned towards me.

I took a few cautious steps towards him. "Are you telling me that we are now in 1718?"

His face broke into a mischievous grin. "Well ... why don't you open the door and find out."

I gave him a skeptical look. I could believe in a strange alien that look like a regular man. Outer space men that possessed people, it was plausible. I could even believe that somehow this bizarre, but beautiful man was somehow connected to me, but time travel ... that was a bit of a stretch.

"Come on now." The Doctor beckoned.

I walked to the door and put my hand around the door handle, only to discover my hand was actually shaking. I was nervous on what I might find on the other side of that door, but the thrill of the possibility that I might actually be over two hundred years in the past was unable to deny.

I opened the door and blinked as brightly lit candles shun. The lights reflected off the gold-colored walls. I took two steps out and stopped short absolutely blown away. I felt the Doctor brush by my back and came to stand beside me. I was flabbergasted by the sights. My eyes roamed the walls and ceiling which were all painted in different scenery. The entire thing was outlined with gleaming gold-leaf stucco. The candles glowed in the golden wall sconces and from three ornate chandeliers. Antique furniture was clustered around an enormous fireplace with a marble mantelpiece.

I looked down to see that my feet were planted on a polished wood floor. Wherever or whenever this was, it sure wasn't the London I knew.

"Wow." I whispered. The Doctor chuckled. "Are we still in London?" I whispered watching the Doctor stroll towards some French doors and open them to reveal a vast garden with the lovely sweet scent of jasmine and lilies.

"We are in Bath, which is the place all Londoners go to during the hot summer months when parliament is not in session."

In a daze, I slowly advance next to him to get a better look outside. It was night and we were on the second floor of someone's home. The garden below was extraordinary. Countless flowers and bushes were clustered together yet still perfectly blended, which lined a small stone path. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Completely astounded I turned to the Doctor. His eyes were hooded and focused on me, more specifically on my reaction. His lips curled into a small smile and his arm rose as if he was about to touch me.

"Doctor?" The voice of a man from behind startled both of us, the Doctor's arm dropped like a stone as if he had just been caught doing a misdeed.

"Edmond." The Doctor quickly recuperated, his face broke into a wide grin. He turned to the man and hurried over, clasping his hand in a sturdy handshake.

"Oh my, Doctor! I certainly did not expect to see you; then again you do seem to turn up at the most peculiar time and place." Edmond chuckled and clutched his other hand over the Doctor's, trapping his hand affectionately. It was obvious who ever this Edmond was; he was very fond of the Doctor.

"Well ... you know me." The Doctor smiled warmly. "I am mister Unexpected."

Edmond chuckled.

"That you are my friend, every time I see you, I get older and you stay the same and coming to see me with a new face." The Doctor shifted uncomfortably as Edmond let go of his hand, but Edmond either didn't notice or care that his comment had distressed the Doctor.

_What did he mean new face?_

Edmond eyes turned to me. "But today you bring a friend with you." Edmond moved to me and extended his hand out. I reached to grab it in a handshake but he picked up my hand and brought it to his lips, placing a quick kiss on my knuckles. "I am Edmond Halley."

Edmond Halley was a man in his sixties; he was a bit overweight and had a head of salt and pepper hair which was tied in a ponytail. He wore what I had always imagined a person of stature wore in the 1700s. The mulberry-colored coat trimmed with bands of embroidery was quite dapper. The coat itself had many fancy buttons and loops. Underneath he wore a pattered waistcoat, which was barely visible and under all that he had a white shirt with ruffles. I was suddenly very happy that men had outgrown those ridiculous fashion trends.

Edmond spoke softly and with a very heavy accent. When he had introduced himself he had pronounced his last name _Haulley_, so it had taken me a moment to place the name. But with a gasp my eyes grew bigger and I gaped at the man in front of me.

"Edmond Halley ... But that is not possible."

Edmond released my hand with a mischievous smile.

"I am surprise that I am the subject of talk among the young and beautiful women." He teased.

"But you are Edmond Halley ... you discovered Halley's Comet."

The Doctor rushed to my side and gave me a hard nudge as Edmond's face it up.

"Well, alleged comet." The Doctor quickly piped in. He then leaned in close to my ear. "He believes the comet will come back every seventy-five years but he will not live to see it return so he never does find out if his theory was correct or not."

I gave the Doctor a pointed look that said,_ warn a girl next time_, and quickly turned back to Edmond who was watching with us with some interest.

"I'm Clara by the way." I said thinking fast.

"It is a pleasure meeting you Clara." Edmond grinned and winked.

**oOo**

Donna soon joined us and once introductions were all out of the way, Edmond had summoned for tea.

Edmond had insisted that the tea was served on his lovely terrace outside and thanks to the all the candles and the full moon that hung in the sky the darkness was barely distinguishable. But the beauty of the moment was lost on me. I wasn't too sure how things had gotten so strange so quickly in my life. One moment I was in my advance calculus class and the next I was having tea in the middle of the night in 1718 with Edmond Halley.

Fortunately for me, Donna was the best conversationalist around and she kept Edmond entertained with her debate about women's rights. Unable to concentrate on anything she was saying, my eyes kept wandering over to the Doctor. He had taken off his brown jacket and seemed relaxed. His long legs were casually stretched out in front of him with his maroon converses crossed.

Having felt my eyes on him, his gaze soon met mine and instantly I felt that connection, that pull. How were we connected? His dark, mysterious eyes were fixed on mine. His expression was hard as if he was trying to understand me, his eyes luring me in.

Edmond cleared his throat breaking the spell I seemed to have been under and I wondered how long the Doctor and I had been staring at each other. A woman in her late forties stood at the table with a large tray of tea and what looked like some sort of digestive biscuits. Glad for the distraction, I enjoyed my tea and crackers.

"You didn't have to wake the house for us, Edmond." The Doctor said, giving the woman a brilliant smile making her blush. I felt a stab of jealously but quickly dismissed the silly feeling.

"This household has a day and night staff, Doctor. I am an astronomer; my work is done at night, so naturally I am up at night."

That of course made perfect sense. I had actually done several papers on Edmond Halley, so it was rather odd meeting the man I had often written about. I couldn't recall how many times I wished I could talk to the man, but now that I found myself in front of him, I couldn't think of a single thing to ask, so I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind.

"How did you two meet?" I asked suddenly wondering how the Doctor had even met this man.

Edmond smiled fondly. "It started with a secret."

"A secret?" My curiosity piqued.

"Edmond spotted the TARDIS in his telescope." The Doctor took a sip of his tea. "It was a mistake on my part ..."

"At first I thought my wife had finally slipped something in my drink when I saw the blue box." Edmond chuckled. "But after closer inspection I deducted that it was indeed a flying box!"

"Naturally I had to come down and straighten this out." The Doctor added.

"Indeed. He tried to tell me I was seeing things, but there was no pulling the wool over my eyes." Edmond's expression became serious. "Soon after meeting the Doctor though, I realized the poor man needed a friend, so that is what I did, became his friend."

The Doctor stood up with speed and looked down at me. "Clara, let's go for a walk."

I nodded, knowing that he didn't want Edmond saying anymore. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in the Doctor's life that had upset him so much that Edmond had noticed and offered his friendship in exchange, but that seemed to something that surrounded the Doctor.

The Doctor and his secrets.

**oOo**

Outside we walked down the same small path I had seen when we first arrived. The night air was warm, and the slight breeze did little to cool me down, but everything smelled so fresh and crisp, I didn't care how hot and sweaty I got. The garden was alive with so many different types of flowers, and sadly I didn't know the name of a single one, all I knew was that they were all beautiful.

"He has a lovely garden." I commented, trying to make conversation, not enjoying the sudden tension between us.

"They belong to his wife, she has the green thumb." The Doctor stopped and plucked a large white flower from its stem. "A Casablanca Lily. It's quite rare but the most fragrant of flowers, one of the prettiest too if you ask me." He handed me the flower.

My fingers brushed against his and I felt that odd pulling feeling again. I was so drawn to him. Not just mildly attracted but somehow irrevocably attached to him. It didn't make sense, but knowing that didn't make the strange feeling go away. My heart lurched up my throat as I grasp the flower and looked up at him. He was gorgeous. Strong, masculine, with the most beautiful brown eyes, and thick brown hair.

My skin tingled with goose bumps.

"Thank you." I licked my lips, suddenly as nervous as a schoolgirl. His gaze dropped to my mouth, then back to my eyes.

"Come on." He whispered hoarsely.

But I didn't want to go any further until the Doctor started to talk. I wanted to know why exactly we were here.

"Why didn't you want Edmond to tell us what happened when you first met?"

"We shouldn't discuss that in public." He glanced around to see if anyone might have overheard, but the gardens were of course deserted except for a few servants that were not far.

"We could go into the woods." I motioned to the trees not far from the garden. Not giving him time to consider it, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the edge. "Come on, tell me." I nudged him as we reached the opening of the white picket fence. The moon was full and was so bright in the sky that no lights were needed. "So why didn't you want Edmond to tell us, are you embarrassed?" I asked, teasing.

"Yes." He replied stonily.

My smile faded, suddenly feeling bad for bringing up something he felt uncomfortable with. I stopped suddenly.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry ..." I made a face at my stupidity.

"Clara, it's alright." He touched my arm. "It was at a hard time in my life ... I had done something ... unforgivable and Edmond listened."

I studied him, trying to decide if I should ask what it was. I bit my lip anxiously. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know everything, but something told me that being pushy would get me nowhere.

"What did Edmond mean by you have different faces?" He hesitated. "Please, I know nothing about you ..." I asked softly.

"I'm a Time Lord ... We—I am different ... instead of dying I regenerate."

I couldn't help but noticed how he had changed the _we_ to _I_, but I said nothing.

"And that means you what? You grow a new body or something?"

He smiled. "Something like that. I change ... I become a different person, new face."

I returned his smile. "It doesn't sound so bad."

"It's ..." He paused and was thoughtful for a moment. "It is –" He shrugged seeming unable to form the right words.

I turned to walk farther into the woods as I let his lack of words sink in. Sure immortality could be nice, but at what price? To not be yourself, to lose what made you, you ... I felt a surge of panic rise. The Doctor's regeneration sounded too much like what I feared was happening to me, that I was in fact just an echo, that I really was not alive.

"I guess in a way it's not so great, you lose the person you are now ..." I finally said in a small voice.

"Yes ..." He sounded surprised with my summary.

The Doctor strolled beside me. The narrow path of hardened earth was flanked on each side with full-grown maple trees. Moonlight filtered through the green canopy of leaves, dappling the ground with little dots of light. I slowed to a stop.

"It's pretty here."

"Yes." He turned to face me. "Very pretty."

I blushed. He tilted his head, studying me.

"You seem to be okay with everything, the TARDIS, traveling to the past ... It would freak most people out."

"I suppose so." I gazed up at the tree branches. "But I'm not a stranger to weirdness. I spent my life feeling like I am waiting ... Now I am actually living and it's a good feeling."

He ran a hand through his hair. I slanted him an apologetic look. "Now you're probably thinking I'm crazy. But I'm really not ... I have been different my whole life. My mother used to tell me it's because I was here to do great things, but after she died ... It got harder to remind myself of those words."

"I'm sorry." The Doctor touched me arm. "How old were you when you lost your mother?"

"Seven." I inhaled sharply at the old memories.

He slid his hand up my arm to the short sleeve of my dress. "Where did you grow up?"

"In the outskirts of London." His hand reached my shoulder. "Where are you from Doctor?"

"A planet called Gallifrey." He frowned. "But it's gone now ... Gallifrey, the Time Lords, they are all gone."

I gasped and jumped back as I felt his cool fingers on my skin. He had lost everyone? "What happened?"

"War." Was all he said.

"I'm sorry ..." I whispered, seeing the pain that little word brought him.

With a sad smile he sighed. "It was long ago."

As I watched him, I was suddenly overtaken with this overwhelming feelings that I had this conversation before. The feeling was paralyzing as an image of myself flashed into my mind. It was me, but it wasn't me. I was speaking to a man. I couldn't see his face but I knew it was the Doctor.

The image was gone seconds later and I did my best to keep my breathing regular and act normal.

"You lost everyone." I gasped as the feelings were overtaking me. I wasn't sure where these images were coming from but I somehow knew that he was the last of his kind, he was alone. I shuttered my head trying to shake those feelings away.

As nonchalantly as I could, I started to walk again, not ready to share with him that I had another strange vision. I felt him watching me, frowning. If the Doctor noticed my odd behavior he said nothing. He rushed to my side to catch up.

"Edmond once told me there was waterfall around here. How about we try to find it?" He extended his hand towards me. I hesitated a moment but he wiggled his fingers, enticing me to take it. Without hesitation I placed my hand in his.

"All right." I nodded, all too anxious to leave those eerie images behind.

He led me to the left. "I can hear the water over there."

"With your super alien hearing?" I joked. I couldn't hear a thing except for our footsteps and my heart racing.

He glanced at me. "You don't hear it?"

"No. And I can barely see." The moon had disappeared behind some clouds.

"The clouds are covering the moon right now. But don't worry. I won't let you fall." He pointed to my left. "Big rock there."

I eased closer to him. After we had walked for a little while, the moon broke free from the clouds and shone down brightly. The grass around us glitter silver with dew. Ahead of us, the creek sparkled.

"It's so pretty," I whispered.

"Yes."

It was a beautiful spot, a perfect spot to share a moment with someone you loved. "But where is the waterfall?" I released his hand and strode upstream.

He followed me around the bend as the sound of the falls growing louder.

"Be careful." He warned.

"Look!" I pointed and glanced back at him, grinning. "I found it."

The Doctor smiled back. As far as waterfalls went, it was on the puny side, only about four feet high. But it was a lovely find and a bit unexpected.

"There's a bench." I sat and gazed at the falls. "What a lovely spot."

"Yes." The Doctor took a seat beside me.

"I love the sound of waterfalls." I let out a laugh. "Who knew I'd be sitting near a waterfall in 1718 when I woke up this morning." I tilted my head back. "And look at all the stars. You never see them like this anymore ..."

"No." He slipped an arm along the back of the bench. "You should see the stars on the planet Levithia." He smiled widely as if remembering. "The sky lights up with the most amazing blue and purple lights and as the sky grow even darker they turn a dark shade of green. They hold a festival every year in honor of the three moons."

"It sounds ... breathtaking." I smiled as his eyes lit up with joy at the memories.

"I will take you there ... when we resolve this whole mess with Simeon's." I frowned and the Doctor put his hand on my lap. "Don't worry Clara ... I will keep you safe."

"It's not that ..."

"Then what is it?"

I grimaced and exhaled loudly. "What if ... "I shut my eyes tightly. "What if Simeon's was telling the truth and I am just that a copy ..."

The Doctor was silent for some time, but when I dared to open my eyes and glanced at him, I was surprise to find his expression hard.

"You are not a copy, Clara. You are real."

"How do you know?" I whispered.

"Because, I've seen so much ... and I know real when I see it, and you are real. Real to me." He said firmly, his thumb slowly stroking back and forth.

His passionate words hit me hard and I really wanted to believe them. I gazed up at the sky. I didn't feel like a copy, I felt real ... I had to be real. My eyes focused on the brightly lit sky.

"Look! A falling star." I closed her eyes briefly, and then glanced at him. "Did you make a wish?"

"I missed it." He said sadly. "You made a wish?"

I nodded, and then gave him a sly smile. "But I won't tell you. I can have secrets, too."

"If you tell me, I could help you make it come true." He grinned coyly.

My smile faded at his kind words and I looked away.

"Wishes don't always come true." The Doctor gazed at the sky seeming to consider my words. I was not foolish enough to believe that my wish would come true, wishing was for children. I knew that if you wanted something you had to work for it. Wishing was for fairytales. After a long moment his faraway stare was still fixed on the night sky. "You're deep in thought." I whispered to the Doctor.

"It happens." He smiled. "About once a year."

I snorted. "What were you thinking that had you looking so forlorn?" I asked, taking a chance. I assumed he wouldn't answer.

"I was thinking I would wish to love without regret."

I turned to face him, astonished at his sorrowful words. "I don't think you can live without at least a few regrets."

"True. But I don't want to make the people I care about sad. It seems wherever I go –" He paused seeming to search for the right words. "I would wish that my love would bring them joy and not pain and heartache."

My eyes widened at the sadness in his wish. I touched his arm.

"That is a wonderful wish."

He shrugged as if what he had said was of no importance. We were silent for a bit longer. I kept my hand on his arm, enjoying the feel of his blazer under my hand.

"You know you can trust me right, Clara, that I wouldn't hurt you."

"Of course." I smiled, but thought the statement was rather odd. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be here alone with you." I watched the Doctor swallowing hard. "Am I supposed to be worried about you hurting me?" I asked quietly.

"Clara" He dragged a hand through his hair. "I would never hurt you."

"Strangely Doctor, I feel safe with you, even though I don't know you." I said simply.

"I cannot understand this connection I feel to you." The Doctor suddenly jumped to his feet and strode to the edge of the creek.

I was trying hard to understand this man. Sure the odd connection between us was ... well weird, but the Doctor's bizarre questions and violent mood swings were a bit more disconcerting. Was he always this unpredictable? One moment he was a bit flirty and the next he seemed to be apologizing for things that were not his fault.

"Doctor?" I stood and walked toward him. "Are you all right?"

"Yes." He raked a hand through his hair.

"I am sure there is an explanation for all this, right?" I patted his arm. "Maybe it's the universe trying to tell us something. Like I was supposed to save you from that bus."

"There is more to it." He suddenly turned towards me and with a fierce look in his eyes he leaned closer to me. "Have you met anyone else that makes you feel this way?" My mouth fell open, unable to answer. He was so close, his scent so intoxicating that I could barely think straight.

I couldn't answer, I didn't need too. He answered his own question for me. "No, no, I'm the only one, aren't I?" My mouth snapped shut and I looked away, my face flushing. "You can feel it now, I know I can." He voice was rough and thick. "I am not even touching you and you can feel this pull."

I gulped. "I don't know why ..." My voice was strangled.

"We could speculate." He touched my cheek and my skin burned where his fingers touched. He traced the line of my jaw, and then gently cupped my chin. "It could be instant attraction." My mouth parted slightly. "Or desire." He ran his thumb over my lower lip. I drew in a shaky breath. He lifted his hooded brown eyes to mine. "Or it could be something even stronger, maybe we were destined to meet, destined to be together."

My eyes searched his. "Do you really believe that?"

"From the first moment I saw you in the street, I was drawn to you, Clara Oswald. I felt attached to you."

I felt my heart pounding hard in my chest at his words. My body leaned in closer to him until both our chests touched.

All of a sudden he just let go of my face with a loud, exaggerated gasp.

"Ohhhh!" He shouted, making me jump. "Ohhh!" He backed away and ran his hands through his hair. "I have to go!" He turned away from me and as if he had a fire lit under him he started to run.

"What?" I was so confused, what had just happened? "Doctor?"

"I'll be back!" He turned around, walking backwards. "I remembered ... I have to talk to Edmond."

I watched him until he disappeared and with a sigh I turned back towards the waterfall.

"My wish was about you," I whispered. "I wished that I could trust you, Doctor."

**oOo**

When I finally got back to the house, the Doctor and Edmond were nowhere to be found, but what I did find was a helpful servant that directed me to one of the bedrooms. The helpful woman informed me that the Doctor had instructed them to take me to a room and get some rest.

So here I was, alone in one of the many rooms to Edmond's lovely home and I was definitely not tired. I found myself pacing back and forth through the room, my mind racing with the night's events. I could have sworn that the Doctor was going to kiss me back in the woods. I wanted him too. But instead he had taken off, as if he had not been affected by anything that had happened between us.

No, no, I was being foolish.

Because it was ridiculous to be this attracted to a man I'd just met the day before. The very same man who made me feel complete. As if I had waited to meet him since the day I had been put on this earth. That was absolute nonsense. Of course, after today, I would have to adjust my definition of nonsense.

Last night, I would have considered time travel rubbish, there was no such thing. Yet here I was … pacing in the past and worrying about a kiss that was not going to happen. With an exasperated sigh I decided I had enough.

Did the Doctor really expect me to just wait here? He obviously didn't know me well. Determined I left the room to go in search of the Doctor or at the very less something exciting to see.

Tiptoeing my way out, I explored the ground floor but to my dismay I only found several empty guestrooms. Slowly strolling through the giant mansion I soon found myself on the second story and down a familiar corridor, the one where the TARDIS had landed. I headed for the French doors that overlooked the garden expecting to see the big blue box, but to my horror, the TARDIS was gone.

The Doctor had abandoned me in 1718.


	5. Chapter Five - Dreams and Nightmares

**oOo  
Chapter Five**  
**Dreams and Nightmares  
oOo**

_A/N: I very quick Author's note. I really wrestled with how to attack this chapter. I wanted to stay true to the story and keep it in Clara's view only but I found it slightly difficult because with the show we often have a peek into the Doctor's mind frame. This part also plays a bit of an important role. So please excuse the quick switch into third person._

**oOo**

The Doctor rushed into his TARDIS and not wasting a moment he put in the coordinates to where he wanted to go.

Before making his hasty departure he had found Edmond and told him he would be back soon. He needed Edmond to keep an eye on Clara and Donna. Not that either women needed taking care of, but the situation was quickly escalading and he couldn't stay.

He had taken Clara on a short walk in the hopes of discovering her secret. He was positive she was hiding something and he had every intention on finding out what it was, but something unexpected had happened while they were alone. Something that had not happened in a very long time … He had almost lost himself in the moment. A very dangerous thing for him to do. He could not get involve with this woman. He refused to even go there again. He couldn't. His hearts could not handle another heartbreak.

_But where had been his brain and those sensible thoughts less than thirty minutes ago when he almost kissed her?_ He thought angrily.

He could not explain what it was about Clara. He had never met anyone that he felt this connected too, as if his fate was somehow intertwining with hers. He was positive he had met her before, but where?

Angrily the Doctor pulled the TARDIS lever. The time machine powered up and he was off to see some old friends who had contacted him. They might be able to shine some light on this odd situation he was in.

He had gotten a message several days ago, but he had ignored it, because frankly he didn't want to deal with it, and he had no idea why the Ood wanted to see him, but after meeting Clara, he wondered if this was why the Ood were contacting him. The message had been relayed to him psychically and it simply said, "_You are needed on the planet of the Ood."_

The Doctor was not used to getting psychic messages and he had forgotten how much he didn't like them. Even though it was just a message that had traveled through time to find him, it was still invasive and he couldn't help but feel slightly violated. Maybe he has just been hanging around humans for too long.

In no time at all, the TARDIS landed with little effort on the planet of the Ood, which was located across the universe and in the fifty-first century. As the Doctor powered down his time machine, he wondered why the TARDIS had given him such a problem earlier when everything was running smoothly now.

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, shut the door and glanced around. The planet didn't look much different from when he had last been here. He inhaled deeply, letting the air infiltrate his lungs and his senses. Judging by the air mass and taste, it had been forty-nine years since he was last here.

Donna and he had last come to the planet of the Ood by pure accident. What had started as a simple tour had become a mission to save the Ood race who was enslaved by humans. But he and Donna had seen to it that the Ood were let free and thanks to him and his trusty companion, he was now a friend of the Ood.

With a shiver he shrugged deeper into his jacket. The planet was engulfed in snow and ice, but none of that seemed to matter to the strange creatures that inhabited the planet.

"You have come." The monotone voice came from behind him.

The Doctor turned to find the familiar face of an Ood he knew well.

"Ood Sigma, I got your message." The Doctor put his hands in his pockets, trying to appear apathetic, when he felt anything but.

"You should not have delayed."

"Oiy, I was in the middle of something important."

"The elders are waiting. You will come with me." The dreary Ood turned on its heels and led the way.

The Doctor followed until the Ood city appeared over the horizon in the frozen tundra.

"Magnificent!" The Doctor breathed out at the sight of the carved buildings from the ice and stone. Ood Stigma merely shrugged. "Oh come on, that is amazing! You've achieved all this in how long?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Forty nine years." Ood Sigma answered in his monotone voice.

"Then we've got a problem." The Doctor started to grow worried. This definitely was not right. "This is too fast. Not just the city, but even the ability to call me. You reached me all the way back to the eighteen century. Something is accelerating your species way beyond normal."

The Ood held its communication globe out. "The Mind of the Ood is troubled."

"Why, what's happened?"

"We see darkness."

The Doctor frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Every night we see her, and then the darkness comes."

With a sigh the Doctor hoped the elder Ood would be a bit more enlightening. The Ood were a psychic race with no vocal cords, but because of human cruelty some of the Ood were fitted with a communicating device that allowed them to speak, but in order for them to communicate with a voice their hindbrain needed to be removed. The forebrain did much of the thinking and stored the telepathic sensors; it also processed memory and emotions, so when it came to vocal communications the ood did not always speak in clear terms.

Ood Sigma led the Doctor to a large cave where a dozen Ood were gathered around a fire. The cave was lit up with candles and the air was thick with smoke of herbs being burnt over the fire. The Doctor assumed it was some form of sage to help with their visions. At the head of the circle one Ood stood out over the others and was obviously the Ood's seer.

As soon as the Doctor entered the cave he was hit with the voices of the telepathic creatures in his mind.

"Returning, returning, returning, she is returning through the dark and the fire. Always returning, returning to this world. She is returning, and he does not see, he never see's, but too late. Too late. Far too late."

Ood Sigma escorted the Doctor to a free seat. "Sit with the Elder of the Ood and share the dreaming."

The Doctor sat and gave an awkward wave. "So. Yes right. Hallo."

"Join us, Join us, Join us." The voices repeated over and over inside his mind.

With an Ood on each side of him, they grasped his hands in theirs and the chant quieted down. Seconds after joining hands with each other, the Doctor's whole body stiffened as if he had been hit by lightning. A bright light blinded his vision until a single image appeared in his mind's eye. Clara. Or at least she looked exactly like Clara. She was alone and frightened.

Clara looked around, frantic, her eyes wild with fear. "I don't know where I am." Clara whimpered in a small voice.

The image flickered and moments later the Doctor was watched as Clara backed herself up against a wall. Her expression fearful as she tried to meld herself into the wall. "Please ... where am I?" She screamed, frantic, as the unmistakable form of a dalek soon emerged from the dark, pointing its ominous arm towards her.

Seconds later the image was gone and the Doctor was once again sitting around the fire with the Ood.

"She comes to us every night." The Ood elder addressed him. "You come in this dark time when we are plagued with visions we do not understand."

"That is Clara, is she alright?" The Doctor asked panicked. Were the ood showing him Clara's present time? Were the dalek in 1718? Or was it part of her future? Unfortunately the Ood ignored his question.

Instead Ood Stigma spoke up from behind the Doctor. "Who is the woman? We see her, but understand so little."

-"She's ..." The Doctor's brow furrowed, unsure on how to answer that, because right now he wasn't sure who or what Clara was. What had the Ood shown him? Her future?

The elder Ood spoke again, obviously unconcerned on who Clara was or possibly he already knew. "And there is another. The loneliest of all, lost and forgotten."

Without warning, the Doctor's vision clouded once again as a bright flash blinded him for a brief moment and when it cleared the image of a man appeared. The lonely man stood alone on some sort of spaceship. His sad gaze peered out at the vast star system in front of him. The view was breath taking, with the beautiful hues of pink and purple which swirled around thousands of stars, but the stranger seemed to be staring straight past it. His face was sad and somber. Seconds later the lonely man faded from sight and the Doctor was back in the ood's cave.

"There is more. Join us ... " The elder ood paused for a moment as the Doctor felt the Ood's hands tightened. "Events are taking shape. So many years ago ... they change the now. There is a man."

The Doctor's vision faded once again. His body froze and stiffened while a new set of events unfolded in his mind's eye. The lonely man from his previous vision appeared again. He was tall, slim and had a ridiculous mop of light brown hair. He wore a Victorian suit, much like Simeon's had, except this one wore a bowtie. The man's face was grim as he spoke eerie words.

"When you are a time traveler, there is one place you must never go..." But before he could finish, the image faded and the Ood elder spoke again.

"The lines of convergence are being drawn and your path is becoming clearer as time ticks by, a path that should have never been."

A new vision started. The image was dark, but the Doctor could make out two forms. One of a man and a woman. The man held the woman by the waist as she limped and stumbled, clutching onto the man's free arm. The more the Doctor observed them the more he could see the obvious love and care the man had for the woman he had no intentions of leaving behind.

The couple turned to look behind them and as they did the Doctor noticed that it was the man from his earlier vision and Clara.

_Why was Clara there? Who was the man? A past boyfriend? A future lover?_ None of those thoughts made the Doctor very happy to think about. The vision soon faded and the Doctor squinted as his eyes were assaulted with the bright candlelit of the cave. The Ood in the room all stared at him expectantly.

"I don't know who the man is ..." The Doctor started.

It was obvious the Ood elder didn't want to hear what the Doctor had to say. He quickly started to speak again.

"But something more is happening, Doctor. A shadow is falling over creation. Something vast is stirring in the dark. The Ood have gained this power to see through time, because time is bleeding. Shapes of things once lost are moving through the veil, and these events from years ago threaten to destroy this future, the present, and the past." The elder paused, letting him absorb the information.

The Doctor glanced around, all the Ood sat as still as stone, their eyes on him. Waiting, until the vision hit him, harder than the earlier ones. Both his hearts slowed and his breath caught in his throat. Clara. The vision reviled Clara. She looked absolutely petrified.

"Doctor!" She shrieked as she started to run.

The Doctor felt his stomach sinking. She had called his name... Unable to move or help, the Doctor watched Clara run and kneel next to a man, but the man was not him...

"Doctor, Doctor!"

Clara set her hands on him as the man screamed and groaned in pain. His body twisting left and right in agony. It was the same man he had seen before, the one with the old suit and the bowtie.

"What's wrong with him?" Clara yelled, her face creased with fear.

The vision began to fade and the Doctor wrenched his hands free from the oods next to him. He clutched at his chest as both his hearts pounded hard and erratically. Clara had called the man Doctor ... Doctor. Was it him? A future face? Simeon's words came rushing back to him.

_"You were torn into a million pieces, copies of you all over the universe, just to save him."_

In a rush the Doctor started to stand. "I have to go!" His voice shook as a frenzy of fear swelled inside of him, but the ood were not done with him. His hands were grasped once again, forcing him to sit back down.

"There is more ..." The elder spoke. The cave became quiet for a moment when all of a sudden all the oods voices echoed inside his head. "You did not see ..."

A new vision took hold of the Doctor. "What's that?" He asked.

To his shock he saw a vision of himself, a past self. An old face of his. Running ... He remembered that day, he had stopped the cybermen from an attack on Earth in the 1960's. But as he saw himself run by, to his utter shock, Clara rushed by, chasing him, until the face of Simeon appeared from a dark corner. He had not seen him, but Clara had. She stopped him, killing him on the spot, but not before Simeon got in a blow of his own, a fatale hit.

Seconds later he was shown yet another face, an older one this time, yet again running, and Clara chasing behind him, calling his name. He had never heard her. Never seen her. And much like the Clara from the previous vision she sacrificed herself for him, saving him from yet another attack from Simeon he had been oblivious too.

Over the next few minutes, the Doctor was shown all his faces, all his former regenerations from the past and all of them had one thing in common. Clara saving his life from Simeon's.

Once all his faces were shown to him, and Clara had died saving him so many times, in different time periods and different planets, he was brought back to the Ood cave. The Doctor's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and worry. He had to go to Clara, he had to see her! He stood up, the Ood didn't stop him. But they did have a final warning for him.

"This is what we have seen, Doctor. You will face a choice. You were never supposed to meet the impossible girl. The choice you make now will set things in motion for the future, the present and the past. The darkness heralds only one thing." All the Ood spoke at once, chanting in his head as he rushed away and ran through to cave to the exit. "The end of time itself."

The Doctor never slowed, never stopped until he came to the TARDIS and without delay he started punching in the buttons to go back to 1718. But after pulling the last lever to set the TARDIS in motion, sparks flew and the time-machine made an awful grinding noise, shaking and moaning.

"Come on!" The Doctor shouted at the ship.

* * *

_I was running. I didn't know where I was running too; all I knew was that I had to run. Everything depended on me running. Not just my life, but the fate of everyone in this entire universe depended on me reaching him in time._

_Him._

_I ran until I saw him, the most beautiful man. Not only was he stunning and fascinating, he was powerful and wise. He has many faces but his eyes are always the same, I always know him by the eyes. He doesn't always see him ... but this one did. This amazing man did finally see me. With his arms wide open he encourages me to run to him._

_"Clara!" He screamed, begging for me to reach him._

_I picked up the pace, running ... until the same man with a different face appeared, this new face is just as handsome but older … not physically, his body appears young but his eyes ... they are old. His eyes burn into me, pleading me to stop._

_"Don't Clara, you can't."_

_But I ignored him, I didn't care about him, I wanted the man behind him. Running by, I ignored his warning, until I reach him. _

_The Doctor._

_My Doctor, with his spiky, tousle hair, and long brown jacket. He enveloped me in his strong arms and pulled me tightly to him. His hands roaming everywhere, touching me, as he buries his face in my hair. I hold onto him, as if my life dependent on it, until I felt a strong grip on my shoulder._

_Not from the Doctor's. Someone else's. The grip tightened as I trashed against it, but no avail. Its grasp is tight and he began to pull me away from the Doctor. Fighting with everything inside of me I trash and twist to keep away but my opponent is strong and much too powerful. When I finally dared to look behind me, to get a glimpse at my attacker to my shock its Simeon. Walter Simeon's face twisted in rage._

_"You can't escape your destiny, Clara Oswald." His lips curled into an ugly smirk as I hear the Doctor screaming for me._

_I wanted to scream back, but I cound't._

_I was falling as Simeon's haunting laugh filled my ears._

**oOo**

I cried out.

"Clara! What's wrong?" Donna lit a small candle from the nightstand that separated our double beds.

I squinted at the sudden light. I could still hear the terrifying laugh. A laugh very much like the one I heard the day I had first met Simeon and he had said I was a mere copy of myself. Donna scrambled out of bed to grab one of the many candelabra in the room. She rushed to the center of the room, ready to defend herself.

"Nothing happen." I sat up. "It was just a dream."

"Are you sure?" Donna scanned the room with her sharp gaze.

"Donna, please. You're scaring me with that."

"You're scaring me!" Donna countered. "You screamed like bloody murder."

"It was a bad dream. That's all."

Donna checked the lock on the door, and then peeked under the bed for good measure. I pressed a hand against my pounding heart. I didn't know which was scarier— my nightmare or the fact that Donna had insisted that we bunk in the same room after I told her I was having nightmares the first night we had been here.

"Everything's fine," I assured my new friend. "Let's just go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?" Donna set the candelabra on the desk. "What was your dream ... was it the same as before?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Or think about it. "Let's go back to sleep." I repeated.

I scooted back under the covers. I had had the same dream every night since the Doctor ditched us in 1718. I was definitely freaked out at the prospect of being stuck here for the rest of my life. But Donna kept assuring me that he would be back ... eventually.

I just hoped that he did come back before I turned eighty. I couldn't understand why I was here. Why had the Doctor brought me here, to 1718? Donna claimed he was being nice and he probably just wanted me to meet someone I looked up too, but I was starting to doubt that. Especially since Mr. Halley had been conveniently busy all week and I had not seen him at all. I was starting to get the impression that I was being avoided.

But not for much longer because I would get my answers tonight.

**oOo**

I waited in the dark until I knew Donna was back asleep and very carefully I tiptoed my way to the door. With a last glance back at the room, I slipped out into the brightly lit hallway.

The night was clear and I knew exactly where I would find Edmond. Outside, gazing through of his telescope. The whole week I had been here, it had rained and Edmond had been unable to view the skies. He had also made himself scares and I was starting to wonder if the Doctor could control the weather as well. Everything all seemed to convenient.

So on the first clear night in the last seven days, I knew exactly what Edmond would be doing and sure enough as I approached the gardens, sitting on his small stool with a large map on his lap was Edmond. With his telescope by his side, he seemed deep in thought, while fervently scribbling on the map. I silently approached, until I was close enough to see he held a map of the constellations and was making coordinates adjustments on it.

"Lovely night for stargazing." I finally said from behind.

Edmond jumped and his small round spectacles slipped off his nose and into the grass.

"Oh, my!" He clutched the map to his chest. "Oh, Miss Oswald, you scared the living daylights out of me." He chuckled.

"Sorry." I said suddenly feeling bad for spooking the old man. He quickly dropped the map and bent down to find his glasses. I hurried to his side, kneeling in the damp grass feeling around for his spectacles. "Let me help you." I offered.

"I am always losing those darn things. My wife has threatened to attach them on a string and put them around my neck." He chuckled as I felt my fingers glide over something cool.

"Found them." I happily claimed, handing them back to him.

"Thank you, young lady." He smiled and set the spectacles back on his nose. He went back to his map and scribbles a few numbers down before looking back at me. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

I bit my lower lip, considering how to best bring up the subject. Now that I was face to face with him I felt my courage falter slightly. The man reminded me of my father, and I didn't want to yell at my dad. I watched the older gentleman sitting in front of me with the slight crinkle in the corner of his eyes when he smiled and the weather skin on his face... He could have past as my father if he would have made it to this age. But this man wasn't my father, I reminded myself.

"Have you been avoiding me?" I asked bluntly.

Edmond's face flushed slight at my question. "Well ... Not exactly avoiding ... more like keeping myself conveniently busy." He smiled bashfully at his clever reply.

But I wasn't amused. "Why? Where did the Doctor go?" My eyes narrowed on him.

"You will have to ask him yourself, he did not confide in me as to where he was going. I have avoided you ... well –" He paused. "I do not want to do the Doctor's work for him."

"What does that mean?"

"Clara, I have come to know the Doctor very well, and there is one thing I can say is the man runs. He always runs from things, sometimes because he rather not deal with the unpleasantness, other times, it's his way of saving someone. But this time I don't think he can run away from what is facing him." I furrowed my brow. I had no idea what he was talking about. Seeing my confusion Edmond smiled warmly at me but moments later his gaze went pass me. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

I quickly turned and saw him standing on the small path that was illuminated by lanterns, almost giving him an angelic look.

"Doctor." I whispered at the sight of him.


	6. Chapter Six - Love is a Curse

**oOo  
Chapter Six**  
**Love is a Curse  
oOo**

I stared at the Doctor from across the courtyard. He stood as still as a statue. His stare was filled with mixed emotions playing across his face. I could not tell if he was angry or upset but whatever it was, the emotion was intense and it was all directed at me.

I was so angry with him and I quickly found myself walking towards him ready to give him a piece of my mind. How dare he leave me here? He left without a word. I had to wonder if he would even come back. As I closed the distance between us, I felt that familiar pull again, that nagging feeling that I was connected to him drumming in the back of my head.

The Doctor still had not moved, his eyes were fixed on me but as I got closer I noticed he was not as composed as I first thought. His hair was droopy, his face was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and his clothing was skewed.

Something was wrong.

My anger swiftly evaporated and I found myself rushing to his side. I stopped inches from him and yet he still stool as still as a statue. "Doctor?" My voice shook slightly. "Are you alright?"

He blinked several times and looked down at me, as if surprise to see me standing so close to him but his face didn't softened at all.

"Who are you?" He finally asked in a harsh whisper.

"What?" I furrowed my brow. Did he forget who I was?

"I said who you are?" His tone was lethal and I was suddenly worried on what he might do.

"It's – It's me, Clara ... We met in London ..."

The Doctor shook his head no, and without warning he violently grabbed ahold of each of my arms, his fingers digging in hard into my flesh.

"That is not what I mean!" He hissed his face now inches from mine. "You ... you keep showing up, I've seen you, in every single one of my lives, in different times. It's not possible, you are not possible! Who are you?" He shook me, jerking my body back and forth.

"I don't know what you mean!" I cried, suddenly very afraid. I was not frightened for my own safety, I knew he would never hurt me; I was scared of what was happening to the Doctor. "I just met you, last week, and then you brought me here. I've never met you before in my life."

And just like that the Doctor's face softened and the anger in his eyes melted. His eyes stayed on me another long moment but he then released my arms and gathered me closely into his, holding onto me tightly.

"You don't know ... You don't remember ..." He whispered as he dropped his face into my hair.

I wrapped my arms around him and held on as tightly as I could. I knew at this very moment I would never let go.

**oOo**

"How can you be sure what they told you was the truth?" I asked, refusing to meet the Doctor's gaze from across the small table.

"The Ood are not one for deceptions. The visions they showed me ... they were real Clara. You were there, in every regeneration of mine, and apparently you are in my future as well ..."

I tried hard to absorb the information he was telling me, but I found it all hard to swallow.

After our reunion the Doctor had found Donna and had said a hasty goodbye to Edmond. The Doctor had been quiet and said little until he ushered Donna and I into the TARDIS.

"Donna ... Could you give Clara and I a moment alone please?" He had asked with a stillness that I had not seen before.

"Yeah ... sure." Donna shrugged. "Ditch me in 1718 for a week, and then wake me up in the middle night just to tell me to get lost. You got some nerve spaceman!" Donna ranted towards the hallway. "Just as well, I am going to take the longest, hottest shower in history."

Once Donna had left, the Doctor pressed a few buttons to get the TARDIS in orbit, once the time machine was in the air; he led me through the mazes of corridors until we reached a small, quaint kitchen. The area seemed so out of place and strange, not like anything else on the ship. It reminded me of a regular kitchen that you would find on earth, with scratched on the counter and the expired milk in the fridge.

That is when he told what these creatures called the ood had showed him. My heart had sunk as I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"So I am not real ..."

"Don't say that!" The Doctor jumped to his feet and rushed to my side. With force he unexpectedly grabbed the back of the chair I was sitting in and roughly spun it to the side so I was now facing him. He sank to his knees and grabbed my hands in his. "You listen to me Clara Oswald." Our eyes met and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "I might have seen women that looked like you, but none of them were you. You are amazing and unique, and there is no other like you."

I quickly stood up, brushing the Doctor aside; I rushed to the furthest counter. I needed space to think and I couldn't think with him so close to me. I gripped the counter, keeping my back to the Doctor and my head bowed down.

"I've seen it, I've seen you." I swallowed thickly. "In my dreams, you are there. There are two of you, the future you ... I will die because I am not the real Clara." I turned and faced the Doctor. I wanted to tell him it was okay, but the words stuck in my throat as I watched him stand and walk towards me.

He was so close I could smell his sweet breath of the tea we had just shared.

"I won't let you die Clara." He moved closer to me, forcing me to retreat until my back was firmly against the counter. I could feel his entire body pressed against mine. I struggle to catch my breath, as I watch his eyes darkened. "How do you know it was a future me?"

His question rattled me.

"Future you?" I could barely form the word. With him to close to me I could barely think straight.

"You said you dreamed of me, and him, how do you know it's me from the future and not the past?"

I was speechless. I didn't want to tell him all the intimate details. I didn't want him to know that I could tell by the eyes. The other Doctor in my dreams just seems older. The cheery, homey kitchen started to make me feel claustrophobic.

"I – I rather not say." I tried to sound determined.

"Why not?" He leaned down, his forehead grazing mine.

"It's personal."

I tried to push him away from me, but truth be told I was not trying very hard. He swiftly grabbed my wrists, holding them tightly. I didn't struggle; my body betrayed my mind's desire to break free.

"Answer the question, Clara."

But I couldn't think with him so close. _What had he asked?_ All of a sudden, I felt his lips barely graze mine as I struggled to recall what we were talking about. I tried to fight the desire to push myself into him. The nearness of his lips was tempting me.

"I just know ... He feels older." I manage to croak out.

His breath caressed my cheek. I tried and take a deep breath. My mind was telling me that he was a stranger yet my body was not agreeing with that though. Releasing my hands, the Doctor fingers weaved through my hair, his thumbs pressing against the base of my skull. I was caught again, and a feeling of stillness came over me.

His words were so quiet and intimate he seemed to be talking directly into my mind. His lips began to move incrementally along my jawbone. Each place his mouth touched burnt my skin.

"Doctor." I breathed around the catch in my throat. I closed my eyes at the sensation, but when he suddenly pulled away I expected him to say something.

Instead the Doctor's hungry lips met mine. His arms locked around me, and his fingertips cradled my head. My lips parted under his, my hands trapped between his chest and mine. Underneath my palms I unexpectedly felt two thumps, one on each side of his chest, as if he had two hearts.

The beating was wild and erratic and with the beats, the kiss changed. The Doctor was no less demanding, but the hunger in his touch turned to something bittersweet. His hands moved forward smoothly until he was cupping my face, and he pulled away reluctantly.

For the first time, I heard the soft, ragged sound of his uncontrolled breathing. Something I knew he was not familiar with, losing control.

"I took advantage of you ... I shouldn't have." He whispered.

My eyes flew open. There was no mistaking the sharp look on his face. It was bewilderment at his actions, at his loss of control. The Doctor was a creature of instinct, and his was to run. I recognized it right away.

But I had instincts, too.

"I'm safe with you." I formed the words with lips that were still burning from his kiss.

"A human—safe with a Time Lord?" He gave a biter laugh. "No one is safe around me, Clara." His words were gut-wrenching to hear and his face was sorrow-filled, but I instantly recognized words that were meant to scare me away.

I couldn't image what happened in this poor man's life to think such sad thoughts about himself. Our eyes met and locked, neither of us blinking. I showed no fear of him. The Doctor made a low sound of surprise.

"How brave you are."

"I've never been brave."

"When you were facing Simeon's you did not show fear ... even after he told you were a mere copy, you were ready to jump to my rescue." I quirked my eyebrow and the Doctor gave a faint smile. "I saw you, digging into your pocket to get the mace spray out. You were going to try to save me again, after saving me from the bus — that was bravery."

"That's stubbornness." My father had explained the difference a long time ago.

"I've seen courage like yours before—from women, mostly." The Doctor continued as if I hadn't spoken. His face was filled with misery and anguish as if remembering women that had been brave. "Men don't have it. Their resolve is born out of fear. It's merely bravado." His glance flickered over me.

I felt my eyes starting to water. For some reason the words brought me so much sadness. Even without knowing that I was just a copy of the real Clara, I was programmed to save this wonderful man in front of me.

One of his fingers reached out and captured a tear from the tips of my eyelashes. His face was sad as he helped me back to my chair; he crouched next to me, resting one hand on my knee and the other on the arm of the rush-seated chair in a protective circle.

"Promise me that you will never question the fact that you are real. To me Clara Oswald you are as real as you can get."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, forcing myself not to look away. I wanted to believe his words...

"Clara ..." He groaned at my response. "I will keep you safe."

I wanted to believe him ... but I still couldn't. My mind was whirling with the memory of his kiss, his fury, and his palpable sadness. There was something else ... as if a small part of me should be afraid of him, of what he brought with him. There was a side of him that he kept hidden behind those eyes and that scared me the most of all.

He bowed his head, resting it against my shoulder. He spoke so softly that I had to strain to hear.

"Human and Time Lords aren't meant to feel this way about each other. I'm experiencing emotions I don't want—" He broke off.

"I know." Carefully I leaned my cheek against his hair. It felt as satiny as it looked. "I feel them, too."

I held onto him for a long time and when I felt him shift and start to pull away I immediately felt cold and empty.

"_Ugh_, I am not as young as I used to be." The Doctor joked, all traces of his earlier forlornness gone. He slowly stood to his feet and stretched his long body.

Despite myself my lips curved into a small smile at his pained expression as he put his hands on his lower back and curved his body backwards, trying to get the kinks out of spine. Once his back cracked several times he grinned at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.

"I have somewhere I want to take you." He said suddenly, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

But leery from the last time he wanted to show me something, I eyed him suspiciously. "It's not somewhere that you plan to just drop me off at again is it?"

The Doctor shook his head no and twirled me around twice before catching me in his arms.

"No, it's even better!" His face beaming in a beautiful smile. "How do you feel about dancing?"

**oOo**

Back in the TARDIS console room, the Doctor was pressing several buttons and running around excitedly.

"So where exactly are we going?" I asked, watching him with delight as he rushed past me to pull a lever, and then came by again to push another button.

"To the Planet of Aurora in the Scarlet galaxy. Every five hundred years the planet is bombarded with small meteors that shower the skies for three nights. The inhabitants throw a week-long celebration just to honor the return of the comet which brings the meteors with it. It is also the only time you can see the Aurora's special rose bloom. They claim that the stardust is magical and can heal anything, from a broken bone to a broken heart."

"So we are going to a party?" His excitement was contagious, and who didn't love a good party?

The Doctor stopped his running around long enough to face me, his face turning serious. "Yes we are Clara Oswald. I want to show you that you are indeed alive."

He turned around and pulled a last lever on the TARDIS. The ship made its familiar wheezing sound, but seconds later shook and rattled. I quickly grabbed on to the closes thing to keep myself stable. The Doctor grabbed the side of the console and glared at the controls.

"Why can't you just behave?" He mumbled.

* * *

**_Present Day, Eleventh Doctor and Clara_**

The Doctor and Clara sat on the deserted sandy beach. Clara shivered deeper into the thick wool blanket.

"When I said I wanted a day at the beach, this is not what I had in mind." She grumbled as her teeth chattered violently.

The Doctor looked up from his book and glanced at Clara. "Well it's less busy this way."

"Of course it's less busy, it's below zero! Only penguins are crazy enough to be at the beach in this weather."

"Don't be silly Clara; penguins do not live in this part of the world."

Clara mumbled something inaudible, but before the Doctor could ask her to repeat, his entire body stiffened. He stood up with lightning speed dropping his book to the ground.

"Doctor?" Clara asked suddenly concerned.

"No, no, no! What am I doing? That is not supposed to happen!"

"Doctor? What is wrong?" Clara stood but wasn't too sure what she should do. The Doctor brushed by her and started to pace, ignoring her, making Clara worry even more. "Please, Doctor what is it?" She stood in front of him so he would have to go around her.

But he didn't. He stopped dead in his tracks, and glared down at Clara.

"It always comes back to you, doesn't it?" He spat with annoyance. Clara frowned, hurt and confused by his words. The Doctor's face softened and he sighed. "I have to go." He said.

"What? Where are we going?"

"No, you have to stay here."

"What? Doctor, please explain what is going on?" Clara felt panic rising inside her.

"I have to go fix a very big mistake I am about to make. Going will mean that I have to cross my own timeline and I might just make the whole universe explode ... but if I don't ... the consequences could be even worse ..."

Clara stood dumbfounded as the Doctor hurried past her and rushed to the TARDIS. What could possibly be worse than the whole universe exploding? And what did he mean he had to stop himself from making a huge mistake?


	7. Chapter Seven -The Doctor Dances – Again

**oOo  
Chapter Seven**  
**The Doctor Dances – Again  
oOo**

The TARDIS landed and I felt a giant burst of excitement bubble out of me, I knew I was in for an evening I would never forget. Unable to contain the thrill of what was outside that door I rushed over but the Doctor let out a sharp yell.

"Oiy! Not so fast you!"

I skidded to a stop and turned towards him.

"What?" I asked annoyed that he was keeping me in suspense longer that what was necessary.

"We are at a ball; you need to change into ball-clothes." He replied, giving me a funny look, as if I should have known better.

"I don't have any clothes at all." I frowned, looking down at the dress I had been wearing since the day I had left London. Thankfully Edmond wife had let me borrow a dress while there so I could launder this one.

"There is a closet full, right over there." He pointed past his shoulder.

"Are you going to change?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Of course."

We separated and each went off in search of something to wear. When I entered the room the Doctor had directed me too, I was in awe. It was more than just a closet full, it was a mansion full. The room was the size of a football field, it was three stories high, and it was filled with endless racks of clothing, everywhere. From dresses to pantsuits, it was all here. The room was also filled with long shelves of accessories. Shoes and baubles, scarfs and hats, boas and glasses, it was all there.

I hurried to the closes rack and let my fingers glide along the different fabrics of every color of the rainbow. This had to be the ultimate dress-up room. I could essential become anything my imagination dreamed of. If I needed to be a Duchess in the 1800s or the first woman who land on Mars, I could do so stylishly thanks to the Doctor's clothing collection.

Each row of clothing rack seemed to be categorize by era and time period, but since I had no idea what section was the outfits for a ball on an alien planet, I immediately went to the modern-day dresses and browsed until something caught my eye, and boy did something ever did.

When I spotted the red dress, I was immediately drawn in by the color. Red had always been my color. Red was one of those colors that not everyone could wear, but I did it quite nicely. At least according to my friend Lara...

The dress in question was a one shoulder slit gown. It was layered and made of silk. I knew it was real silk when I first let my fingers glide along the smooth fabric. It was long and came down a bit past my ankles thanks to my lack in height but with the right shoes this dress would be perfect.

The shoes were also an easy find. I had spotted them when I first walked into the room. They were silver and quite artsy to look at. The open toe shoe had a four and half-inch high heel with a flower like pattern on it, which was all made of small crystals. They were perfect.

With a giant smile plastered on my face I hurried into the dressing room to change.

**oOo**

I came out of the large clothing room feeling slightly timid. I was feeling very nervous on what awaited for me on the other side of the room. But when I emerged and I spotted the Doctor at the TARDIS console, fiddling with some of the wires that stuck out, all that anxiety disappeared. He had changed as well; he was dressed in a dashing black, traditional tuxedo, with a white button up shirt and a black bowtie.

My breath caught for a moment at the sight of him. He looked absolutely amazing.

The Doctor looked up when I emerged from the room and his jaw dropped. I gave him a shy smile, swallowing hard at the sudden dry patch in my throat. We stared at each other for several moments until the Doctor shook his head.

"Yes ... Right ..." He cleared his throat and extended his hand towards me, cocking his head to the side. "Allons-Y." He gave me a croaked grin and I found myself smiling widely.

The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors to reveal a dark hallway, but beautiful, soft music carried down the corridor. The long hallway's flooring was made of bright white marble and the walls were translucent with gold and blues shining through, cascading down like a waterfall. Several windows lined the hallway. They were large Victorian type windows that went from the floor to the ceiling.

I stepped passed the Doctor and was astonished. My feet immediately carried me to the closes window. The view outside was just breathtaking. The largest beach was laid out in front of the building. The vast beach was several hues of whites and pinks and simply went on for miles.

My fingers touched the window as I found myself craving to touch the silky looking grains. Keeping my eyes exploring the amazing beauty before me, I heard the TARDIS door closing and moments later footsteps approaching me from behind.

"The planet of Aurora is one of the most peaceful planets to have ever existed." I felt the Doctor's body heat radiate from him as he spoke from behind me. "The planet has four continents and none of them have ever been at war. In fact, they have a five day ceremony just to say hello."

I tried hard to concentrate on what he was saying but the nearness of him was making it hard to pay attention to anything else other than his strong, tall frame and how much I wanted him to touch me.

"That sounds ... amazing." I found myself saying, breathlessly, trying to think of something a bit more intelligent to say. "All that just to say hello ... what happens when someone wants to say I love you." I flinched at my idiotic choice of words.

Closing my eyes, feeling embarrassed, I waited for him to say something silly and technically but he didn't. I felt his warm breath against my bare shoulder.

"It is quite amazing." He whispered, sounding almost as breathless as I felt. "The people of Aurora believe love is sacred ..." I twisted my head slightly only to see his face inches from mine. "When they fall in love, it's for eternity." My eyes locked onto his, neither one of us looked away. "They believe their souls are already married. That they were together in another life and that this is just that continuation." I swallowed thickly as the Doctor's voice lowered. "When they fall in love, they believe they already loved each other before. So they don't get married, they simply celebrate two souls being reunited together."

I wanted to say something clever and witty, but as I watched the Doctor, his eyes full of desire and hunger it made my knees weak. But as if he were fighting a war inside himself he blinked, straightened up and backed away, and just like that I felt cold and empty once again.

The Doctor stepped back and plastered a big smile on his face. But his strange behavior was more confusion and left my mind reeling. He held his hand out for me to take. Feeling dazed by the sudden changes in him, I reached out and grasped his hand a bit unsure, but once I felt his fingers close tightly around my hand all those second thoughts disappeared.

He tugged me away from the window.

"Come on." He coaxed playfully. "There is a party over there and we are missing it."

We both slowly walked down the hallway and I took notice of all the flowers dangling around the windows along with several potted plants in every little corner.

"Very eco-friendly planet." I commented.

"Ahh the flowers. Yes. They practically worship flowers here. In fact for every single month of the year they have a festival for a different type of flower."

I gave the Doctor a side glance and quirked my eyebrow. "It sounds like these people love to party."

The Doctor chuckled. "Well, I suppose so." He grinned. "They just know that this life is too short to spend it worrying. It's best to enjoy the time you have with those you love."

The Doctor and I strolled to the end of the hallway where a large staircase was located. The music grew louder and was coming from upstairs. We both paused and I turned to him. He gave me a large lopped-sided smile, his chestnut eyes sparkled with excitement, giving me a mischievous look. I noticed his black bowtie was askew so I immediately straightened it.

"We can't have you walking in with a crooked bowtie."

He looked down at me and clasped his hands around mine. With his warm hands tightly around mine, he brought my hands to his lips and placed a small kiss on my hands keeping his eyes on me. He gave me a warm smile.

"Thank you." He simply said.

At that moment I felt all these emotions wash over me. He was obviously saying thank you for straightening his bowtie, but something in his voice said that there was more. Not wanting to break the magic of the moment I simply smiled. The Doctor released my hands and leaned his arm out towards me, offering it to me. Without hesitating I wrapped my hand around his arm and let him lead me up the staircase to the dance.

A dance with the Doctor. _My Doctor_.

A giggle escaped my lips and we headed up the steps.

At the top of the stairs a large arch welcomed us inside the enormous ballroom. Various humans and aliens all danced and laughed. Large, tall, short and thin people were everywhere. Some had red skin while others had scaly looking skins. But everyone here had one thing in common, they appeared to be happy. The women wore elegant gowns in every color of the rainbow while the men were dressed in the finest black suits. A giant smile appeared on my lips as I stood at the doorway, amazed by the sight.

"Who are all these people?" I asked slightly shocked. I had not been expecting to see so many different types of aliens in one place.

"The people of Aurora always invite everyone to their party." The Doctor smiled as he watched a few couples dance by us. "There is just one condition; you are to have a good time."

Wasting no more time, The Doctor pulled me further into the room. The excitement inside me grew as we crossed the dance floor, I felt hopeful that I would get my dance, but to my dismay the Doctor lead me to the snack table and not the dance floor. I had expected him to just grab onto my waist and start dancing with me, but since this was the Doctor he had to have a look at the food first.

The snack table was overloaded with fruits and vegetables, some that I could recognize while others were completely foreign to me. The Doctor went straight for what looked like a sponge cake topped with an assortment of berries. He grabbed four of the little snack cakes with a grin.

"Ohhhh, I love these!" He stuffed the little cake in his mouth and without warning he brought the second cake up to my mouth and stuffed it in. With a cough I took my first chew of the treat. "See ... Good huh." He grinned widely.

As soon as the small fruit hit my tongue, an explosion of flavor filled my mouth. A small moan escaped my lips. "Oh my gosh ... these are amazing." I gasped with my mouth full.

I hurried and chewed the rest so I could grab a second, but before I could, a group of women approached us. All dressed in beautiful, sparkling gowns that put mine to shame they sauntered over; all four women eyed the Doctor with greedy stares.

"I do not believe we have had the pleasure of meeting yet." The obvious leader of the small group said. The woman was almost as tall as the Doctor with beautiful blonde hair that shimmered in the light. She stuck her hand out with the palm down. "I am Tabitha Greenwood."

The Doctor brushed his hands on his pants, wiping away the crumbs.

"Oh, right, yes. I am the Doctor." He grabbed her hand and gave it an awkward shake. She frowned at his action. "And this is Clara." The Doctor pulled his hand away and inclined his head towards me.

Tabitha seemed rather insulted that he did not kiss her hand but she quickly hid her disappointment and plastered a smile back on her face.

"Very nice to meet you. I do not believe I have seen you attend any of our celebrations before."

The Doctor shrugged. "We were just passing through and thought we would stop."

Tabitha nodded and gave me the once over with judgmental eyes. "Clara, you do not have a dance card."

I frowned. "A dance card?"

"Well yes, so all your suitors can claim a dance. It's only proper to reserve a dance for all of them." She smiled widely.

"Suitors?"

The Doctor leaned his tall frame down and whispered close to my ear.

"Even though this planet has many lovely rituals, they still believe that things like romance should be done properly." Seeing my confusion the Doctor elaborated more. "Imagine London 1800's in high society."

"So the women look for a husband so they can become some pretty bauble on their arm?" I said outraged.

"Whoa, settle down." The Doctor chuckled. "They are just proper at formal affairs like this, everyone has the freedom of choice, Clara."

I nodded, feeling a bit better about the situation.

"Come with us Clara, we will get you a card so you can start to fill it!" One of the girls behind Tabitha giggled excitedly.

The Doctor gave me a little push. "Go on now, we will catch up later."

The girls all grabbed onto a hand and pulled me along. A little unsure I glanced back at the Doctor and to my dismay Tabitha had moved in closer. She spoke to him for a moment, making him laugh loudly. I couldn't help but feel the pang of jealously hit me hard. I was supposed to be here with the Doctor to dance, not watch him with other women.

**oOo**

The girls that had dragged me off to find this mysterious dance card were all quite nice and despite my first impression of them, they were not idiotic women on the hunt for a husband. In fact two of them were in serious relationships, but they all loved a good party. After giving me a small card that was tied to my wrist they took me around the room and introduced me to several of their friends.

As it turned out the people of Aurora were a lot like humans on Earth. They all had proper jobs and lives. They all had dreams and visions of their future along with fears and worries. But despite the wonderful time I was having learning about this new culture I couldn't help but finding myself always scanning the crowd looking for the Doctor.

After I had been whisked away, Tabitha had not stuck around the Doctor long. Whatever had happened, she had stomped off, looking angry. Sadly a small surge of happiness had peaked inside me, but I quickly stamped it down. I was being silly. It wasn't like he was my boyfriend, he was just a ... friend. But I had no idea where he had gone off this time.

After my fourth dance with a very nice man who was several inches shorter than I with bright red skin, I spotted Tabitha.

"Have you seen the Doctor?" I asked approaching her hoping she might have seen him.

Tabitha gave me a once over, eyeing me distastefully before answering. "That strange man ... no." She shrugged and turned back to the man she was talking too.

"Are you sure?" I asked again. "I have not seen him in some time ..."

She turned to me again, this time seeming annoyed.

"No!" She snapped. "We were at the refreshment table together having a delightful conversation, but then he just stopped paying attention to me. He then mumbled something about seeing someone who shouldn't be here and he took off."

As Tabitha's words sank in, I bit my lower lip. That did not sound good at all. Wasting no time I hurried off and as I did I heard Tabitha gasp and mutter something about the rudeness of aliens, but I paid her no mind. I hurried through the room, pushing my way around the throngs of people, suddenly starting to feel claustrophobic. I needed to find the Doctor.

What if something happened to him and he was hurt? Why would he just take off like that and not tell me? A flash of him leaving me in 1718 quickly came to mind but I ignored that rising panic. He promised he wouldn't leave me again. Pushing those negative thoughts aside I hurried to look for the Doctor.

After circling the room, I decided I would go back to the TARDIS but before I could I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"Clara, there you are."

I quickly spun around and found those familiar big brown eyes staring at me. Without thinking I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his arms wrap around me.

"Are you okay?" He asked worried.

I laughed awkwardly and let go of him with a blush. "Yeah ... Yeah, sorry ... I just -" But as I looked at him, he looked worried. Even though he was smiling, there was a certain tension to his face. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I was hoping we could dance." He said simply.

I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but deciding that I could quiz him on the dance floor so I nodded.

"I'd like that."

The Doctor escorted me to the dance floor just as the orchestra was coming back from their intermission. The musicians were sitting down and producing those awful noises they make as they prepared to play, so we were forced to wait a moment on the dance floor before we could actually dance.

"Thank goodness you didn't refuse." The Doctor said with great feeling.

"Well ... you didn't sign my dance card." I said with seriousness as I waved the little white paper on my wrist. "So I could technically refuse."

He raised a brow. "Does that mean I need to sign this thing and ask you again?"

"No, of course not," I replied, rolling my eyes. "That would be childish of me. And besides, it would cause a terrible scene, and I think we have attracted enough attention for one night." I teased.

He cocked his head and gave me a rather assessing glance, as if he was analyzing the whole situation. I found the experience somewhat unnerving, but just then the orchestra ceased its discordant warm-up and struck the first notes of a waltz.

The Doctor groaned. "I think young ladies still need a permission to waltz."

"Seriously?" I grinned. "For what?"

"It's just a tradition." The Doctor looked around, looking uncomfortable.

"Who would you ask permission to dance with me?" I asked amused.

"Your guardian."

"Well, I guess that would be you."

The Doctor gave me a giant smile and swept me into his arms. He whirled me into the throng of elegantly clad couples.

"Good, then I definitely give you permission to dance." He whispered near my ear.

We had made a full circle of the ballroom before I talked again. "You are a very good dancer. Is there anything you can't do?"

He didn't answer but simply smiled, a dashing grin, and I was thankful for the companionable silence that fell between us once again because I was not sure I could find the right words at this moment. So I did the next best thing, I lost myself in the dance, in the sound of the music, in the sway of our bodies. I had not been to many formal dances, where the people actually did proper ballroom dancing and waltzing, but I knew the basic steps to them.

This was my first real waltz and I wanted to remember every moment of it. Completely forgetting that I wanted to question him, I closed my eyes and let the Doctor guide me around the room. I became keenly aware of his hand barely touching my waist, the brush of his long, muscled leg against my own as we swirled across the floor. But after several moments, I became disoriented and opened my eyes, unsure whether the source of my light-headedness was the movement of the dance or the man.

Meeting the Doctor's electric stare, I accepted the truth. It was, of course, the man.

"You dance rather well for a twenty century woman." The Doctor commented.

"Thank you ... I think ..." The Doctor smiled. "You dance well too ..."

He shrugged slightly, his shoulders rising as his head tilted to the right. "I haven't danced in a while ..." He said.

"Why not."

"I suppose I just don't want too ... the last time I danced was ..." He got a sudden faraway look in his eyes but with a quick blink it was gone. "It was long ago, with someone else."

"Oh ..." I didn't want to pry but my curiosity got the better of me. "A girlfriend?"

The Doctor was thoughtful for a moment.

"Sort of. Someone I cared for ... very much.

I chewed on my lower lip.

"What happened to her?"

-"She ..." He sighed and I felt his grip on my waist tightened. "She is gone ... to another dimension. I lost her ... Twice."

I tripped over my feet, and then, just as soon as I'd regained my balance, I tripped over his. I had not expected him to reveal anything like that.

"I am so sorry ..." I said lamely, getting my balance back.

"It's alright ..." The Doctor gave me a sad smile. "I gave her a part of me, so she won't be alone, not like the first time."

I let his words sink in for a moment. I wasn't too sure what that meant, he had given a part of himself, but it was obvious that he more than just cared about this woman. It was written all over his face that he was deeply hurt by losing her.

"What was her name?"

The Doctor met my stare. "Rose." He whispered.

"If she got a part of you ... what did you get from her?" I asked, suddenly feeling angry at this woman for hurting the Doctor, even though I had no idea what had happened.

The Doctor seemed thoughtful for a moment. He then reached up and brushed a few strands of hair, looping them behind my ear.

"She fixed me when I needed someone the most, so I could be able to be the man I am today." His serious gaze bore into me and his message was loud and clear.

**oOo**

The music ended and the Doctor escorted me from the dance floor. I was silent, loss in thought at everything he had said, but as we made our way to the edge of the dance floor I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. No, not a something, someone. It was brief and when I looked back it was gone. But I thought I had seen someone I knew, which was impossible right?

I stopped short in my tracks and quickly looked back to the spot where I had seen the man.

"What's wrong?" The Doctor asked turning towards me.

My eyes scanned the area. "I thought I saw someone ... familiar." I spun myself around the room. "It was a man with a bowtie ..." I trailed off. "Never mind, it was nothing."

I looked to the Doctor and to my surprise he was smiling. I was not expecting him to smile. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes but it was a wicked, wolfish grin that shook me to my toes—I was completely unprepared for that reaction. A burst of heat spread through me, and despite myself, my heart began to pound. I couldn't stop staring at his white teeth, his wide, soft lips, the single dimple that appeared in one cheek. He was more handsome than he had ever been.

The Doctor took advantage of my unguarded state, closing in on me until my back was pressed against the wall, and that was when I noticed that he had taken me to a secluded area. A small alcove that was remarkably quiet considering the mass of humanity that was just out of sight. He had selected a spot that was almost entirely blocked by a massive column and a cluster of large ferns, affording us a measure of privacy.

He didn't seem to care that there was a large crowd mere inches away from us. I grew nervous. He reached out and ran a finger down the length of my arm, leaving a trail of fire where he touched me. Taking my hand in his, he turned it over, exposing my wrist to his gaze. He brushed his thumb over the delicate skin there, sending my pulse racing. My entire world had been reduced to this single moment, this single caress. I could not tear my eyes from the point where we touched. The warmth of his hand, the even stroke of his thumb, consumed me.

I didn't know how long he stood caressing me before he lifted my hand to his lips and pressed his mouth to the skin of my wrist. My eyes closed against the flood of sensation that came with the touch. He parted his lips just enough so his hot breath tickled my wrist. He then scraped his teeth against the sensitive spot. I heard myself gasp and my eyes flew open just in time to feel his tongue on my skin. He met my gaze as he wreaked havoc on my senses, and all I could do was watch him, knowing that he knew exactly what he was doing to me. With one final kiss on my wrist, the Doctor let go of my hand, holding my gaze as he leaned toward me.

I blushed.

"Clara ..." He sighed inches from me. "I need to fight this, but I don't want too anymore. It's my turn to get something I want."

He lifted my chin. I was at a loss for words.

"Doctor." I whispered

"To hell with it all, it's my turn." He muttered harshly.

He then cupped my cheeks, turning my head just enough to ensure the perfect angle of a kiss. He sipped at my lips, teasing me with little nibbling kisses. Then he kissed me. He took my mouth in a deep, passionate kiss that left my knees weak. His tongue stroked along my bottom lip. I sighed into his mouth, eager for more, desperate for us to be anywhere but here—anywhere we could explore each other further.

I pressed closer to him, eager for more of his warmth, and as a fire curled in my stomach, he emitted a low growl in the back of his throat that thrilled me.

"I should have known you'd be here mauling her. You always were selfish that way."

I pulled back instantly at the words, spoken from the entrance to the small alcove we were in. The anger in the strangers tone sent a chill down my spine. The Doctor stiffened and turned to face the newcomer, attempting to block me with his size, but I got a quick glance at the stranger who wore a dark, Victorian suit and a bowtie.

"You." The Doctor said, his tone laced with warning. "I remember you."


	8. Chapter Eight - Clara

**oOo  
Chapter Eight  
Clara  
oOo**

The Doctor protectively shielded me. He squared his shoulders and somehow seemed to grow large. He kept one of his hands tightly around my wrist, keeping me pinned to the wall. His spine was rigid and his whole demeanor had change. The lust-filled man had transformed into a fierce protector. His sharp eyes glared at the intruder, examining and assessing him, until some recognition flared in his eyes.

"I remember you ... " The Doctor said with some surprise in his voice. "Why didn't I remember until now?"

"Probably because I triggered those memories. We are not supposed to meet again." The other man said.

"No we are not. Why are you here? Has something else happened?" His tone was cautious.

"You know very well why I am here, _Doctor_." The man spat angrily.

I felt the Doctor's fingers dig deeper into my flesh at the angry words the stranger threw. "And I suppose you are here to stop me, _Doctor_?" He replied with as much rancor.

_Doctor?_ He had called the stranger Doctor. What was going on here?

"What do you mean, _Doctor?_" I asked, trying to push my way around the Doctor but he held my wrist firmly, almost painfully so, but with some pulling and twisting on my part, I managed to get free and side step around the Doctor. When I faced the stranger I was shocked to find that the stranger was no stranger, well not really, I had seen him before, in my nightmares. There was no mistaking the floppy hair and the Victorian clothing. "Who are you?" I asked my voice stronger than I felt.

The man with the large chin and the old eyes turned to me. He was silent for the longest time as he regarded me with a bit of surprise, but to my dismay, he ignored my question, and in fact he totally ignored me.

"You know very well that this can't work." He turned back towards the Doctor.

"Why? Because this might change _your_ future, well things can change." The Doctor replied harshly.

The stranger took a step forward, his eyes glaring menacingly. "I know what the Ood showed you ... " He pointed at me. "You know she is from the future. My future!"

"That does not mean anything! The future is always changing."

"Not this!" The man with the floppy hair snapped. "It's already happened, this is a fixed point. She is an echo of the real thing, only here to save you, to do one final act to save _us_ ... " His tone was angry but it suddenly softened. "To save me."

I pulled free from the Doctor's grasp and rushed in between both men, facing the intruder. "Someone needs to tell me what is going on!" I shrieked.

The stranger took a step closer to me. "I am the Doctor." I was about to protest but he held his hand up for me to be quiet. "From the future. I am him." He pointed to the Doctor behind me. "And he is about to do something that could change everything, not just my future but the future of the whole universe."

"By taking me to a dance?"

The new Doctor looked away from me glancing above my head to my Doctor. "By falling in love."

I wasn't quite sure how to reply to that. The whole situation was odd enough. I was staring at the future man who I had just been kissing, and more unnervingly he said I was only an echo of a future Clara that he knew. Just like Walter Simeon had said ... An echo of a girl.

"I don't understand." I whispered suddenly feeling weak. "I am not real?"

The new Doctor's face loss all its raging emotions and suddenly in a gesture of affection he cupped my cheek.

"It's complicated ... You are real, so very real ... but you were never meant to live a full life. You, the you from my time did something very brave to save me and it sent copies of her – you, into the whole of time and space to save me, over and over." His thumb gently stroked my skin. "You must know, feel it inside you that there is something you have to do, something big."

I gave a quick nod as tears pooled in my eyes.

"Stop it, just stop it!" My Doctor stepped forward and slapped the other Doctor's hand away from me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. "I have lost so much ... too much! I won't lose this; I won't let you take this away from me." He started to walk away, dragging me along with him. "I have sacrificed everything to save the universe, over and over. I just want this ... One moment …"

"Doctor, please, you are making a huge mistake!" The new Doctor called out as we walked away. I glanced back at him; his expression was sad but sober. "You know what you have to do Clara, don't let him lose himself to this, he will hate himself in the end!" The Doctor yelled out to us.

**oOo**

Rushing back to the TARDIS the Doctor dragged me inside. The TARDIS doors slammed shut behind us with a loud bang and the Doctor dashed to the console. He furiously pressed some buttons and pulled a few levers until the ship was making its familiar engine noise and left the beautiful planet of Aurora behind.

I didn't trust myself to speak for a long moment so I simply watched the Doctor as he started to fiddle with the first thing he could find to avoid looking at me. He brought out his sonic screwdriver and slipped his plastic framed glasses onto his noise. With his brow pinched he glared at one of the many levers of the TARDIS as if it had done something unforgivable.

He bent down to eye level with the lever and held it with one hand while he pointed his sonic screw driver with the other. When nothing happened he mumbled something inaudible and stretched out to push a glowing blue button, but with it just out of reach it caused him to lose grip on the sonic screwdriver and dropping it to the ground. It made a loud clanging sound as it hit the grated floor and rolled for a moment until it fell through one of the many floor grate holes. The Doctor let out a surprising foul curse and bowed his head in defeat.

We both stood stone-still for a long moment until he broke the silence. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

I swallowed thickly several times until I found my voice. "That man … that was you?" I asked, standing quietly to the side.

The Doctor didn't look up. "Yes ... my next regeneration ..." He straightened himself up. "I met him once before ... but I forgot, because well, it's complicated, but yes that is me."

"Oh," was all I could muster out of myself. I did my best to keep my thoughts rational and detached; I didn't want to fall apart. I couldn't.

Except my mind replayed the Doctor's words. He was right. It felt like there was something I had to do, a mission that I needed to accomplish and nothing would feel right until I did it.

The Doctor exhale loudly. "I am not going to lose you Clara." He lifted his head and gave me the most piercing stare I had ever witness. "I _can't_ lose you." His voice cracked with emotions.

He straightened up to his full height and without hesitation he approached me, his face serious. He stopped inches from me and cupped my cheeks lovingly. Unable to resist I leaned into his touch. My eyes fluttered shut but I quickly made myself reopen them. I didn't want to miss a single moment of this, of him. _My Doctor_. His strong jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed on me.

"You are so beautiful," I found myself whispering out loud.

The Doctor's face suddenly relaxed, losing some of its tension. "I have to take you home."

Shocked by his surprised words I took a step back. "Ww-what?"

"I can't keep you here with me." He bowed his head sadly. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if ... If something happened to you."

"So it's true, what the future you said ..."

"Clara ..." He sighed. "There isn't much I can count on, but myself is one. I might be a different man when I regenerate, with only memories of the old me, but that man, it was still me, and all I want to do is keep you safe, now and in the future."

"But I am safe!" I cried, unable to believe this was happening, how had this night gone from the most wonderful night to the worst?

"I've lost too much ... In just this form." The Doctor's eyes glassed over with unshed tears. "Please ... I know if you go home, you'll be safe."

"No I won't!" I suddenly shouted, sick and tired of everyone telling me where my life was supposed to go. "Simeon is still out there, and he won't ever stop looking for you."

The Doctor took off his glasses, his face sad but with resolve. "I can't lose someone else, Clara."

Unable to hold the angry tears anymore, I felt them trailing down my cheeks. "If you take me home, I will just go looking for you. I am not leaving and that is final." With that I stomped off to find my room, leaving the Doctor gaping at me.

**oOo**

Stomping through the maze of hallways I finally came to the door I thought was my room but after entering and slamming the door; I glanced around and saw Donna sitting in the bed with a book on her lap. She looked up at me with the same annoyed look I was feeling inside.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." She quipped, slamming her book shut. "I go out to the console room to find it empty. Neither one of you bothered to tell me we were at some posh ball!" She stood and strolled closer to me. "I thought you were both kidnapped or something. I rushed out in my night-clothes only to see you all dancing and laughing, well let me tell you –" But Donna quickly stopped her rant when she got closer. Her face immediately softened. "Oh, no, what happened?" Her anger dissolved as she immediately wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "What did that skinny bean pole do to you darlin'?" Donna cooed gently.

I wasn't one for sharing my emotions with just anyone, but it was as is a flood gate had been opened and everything burst out of me. I told Donna everything. From the lovely dance we had shared to the unfortunate arrival of his future self and his ominous warning. When my tale was done, Donna escorted me to her bed. She sat beside me and with loving care she took my hands into hers.

"He wants to take me home." I finally said after several minutes of silences. The bitterness was hard to hide in my tone.

"Because of what his future-self said?"

"No, because he said he doesn't want to lose me ... But taking me home is exactly what he would do."

Donna gave me a sad smile and it was hard not to notice the sudden dampness of her eyes. She gave my hands another tight squeeze.

"Clara, he's lost so much ..." She hesitated for a moment but seeing my mournful expression she swallowed that hesitation. "He is going to kill me for telling you this ... but when I first met him –" She gave a slight laugh, "that seems like ages ago now, but I was about to get married. I ended up in the TARDIS by accident." She waved her hand dismissing those events. "That is a story for another day, but anyway, when I ended up here, he had just lost someone, he was devastated."

"Who did he lose?"

-"A woman ... he said she was a friend, but I knew it was more, that she meant more to him. Her name was Rose. She traveled with him before I did."

A sudden stab of jealously went through me at those words, which was ridiculous, after all the Doctor didn't belong to me, and he was over nine hundred years old, of course there would have been others ... I just had not expected someone else who was from the same time as me, that she would have known him as he is now.

"Rose ... what happened to her?"

"She is in another dimension." Donna said simply, as if that sort of thing were normal.

"What?"

"There was a battle at Canary Wharf."

I nodded.

"I remember it; no one forgets something like that."

"Rose very bravely saved the world. She is safe with her family, that's all that matters now." The Doctor's suddenly spoke from the doorway.

I whipped my head in his direction and felt my heart squeeze. Standing the doorway, the Doctor was casually leaning against the frame. His hair was slightly damp from a shower. He had changed out of his tuxedo and wore a pair of blue trousers along with an off-white button up shirt which was untucked from the trousers. His casual demeanor took me by surprise, but he looked incredible.

He gave Donna and me a weak smile.

"Clara, could I talk to you?" He asked almost bashfully.

Donna gave me an encouraging pat on the back. I nodded and automatically stood up and followed the Doctor out of the room. Neither one of us spoke until we reached a different part of the TARDIS, or maybe it was the same, I couldn't tell, all the corridors looked the same. The Doctor walked into a room and I followed without question.

Upon entering I was surprise to find myself in what I assumed was the Doctor's room. It was quite large, almost the size of my whole apartment and just as well furnished. I tried to take in the room, but my eyes kept drifting back to the large bed, which stood several inches from the ground and reminded me a lot of an antique bed.

The Doctor immediately started to pace.

"Clara ..." He started but quickly clamped his mouth shut, as if he was trying to gather his thoughts. His anxious prowling was starting to make me nervous. I quickly sprang into action and walked in front of him so he had to stop his pacing. He let out a soft chuckle and ran his hand through his wet hair, making it stick up every which way. "I'm sorry." He suddenly said.

"You haven't done anything wrong."

"Maybe not ... but –" He paused, his gaze meeting mine. Once again I felt my heart flutter. His expressive deep brown eyes softened, as if he knew and understood what he was doing to me. "I don't know what I should do." He whispered his voice pained and sorrowful.

I took a step closer so our chests were only inches from each other. "I don't think that's true." I whispered back. "I think you are just afraid."

The Doctor released a soft sigh. In the next instant he cupped my jaw in his hands, forcing me to crane my neck up to look at him. His fingers felt wonderful. Rough and abrasive, but utterly provocative, they were sensual and strong. I felt my whole body tingled. A warm, prickling lance like feeling seeped past my skin, and sunk right into my bones.

"Clara," he said, his voice as gentle as his touch.

The sound of my name on his soft lips was intoxicating. I fought the urge to grab him by the neck and kiss the breath right out of him. Slowly I set my gazed on him and when our eyes met, he lowered his head. My breath caught in my throat. The Doctor did the movement so slow that it gave me time to protest as he slanted his lips over mine, but I didn't. I couldn't, not when I suddenly craved his kiss with everything inside me.

He was dangerous, mysterious and exciting, and with all the events going on, my future was looking iffy. Who knew if I had a tomorrow? The future Doctor's prediction still rung in my head. I had to allow myself this pleasure without guilt. Without hesitation. Without pause. I was going to enjoy every moment with my Doctor, no matter how bad it was for me. I had never wanted anything more right now than the man in front of me.

He brushed my mouth once, twice. Perhaps he'd had every intention of leaving it like that, a brief, innocent touch, but I didn't let him, seizing the moment. I opened my mouth and gave him my tongue. That was all the encouragement he had needed.

There was nothing gentle about it either, not the second time around. There was only an undeniable need. Moaning low in his throat, he claimed my mouth. His tongue swept past my teeth, sinking deep, demanding total surrender. He angled his head to the side for deeper contact. His fingers tangled in my hair, clamping tight.

I tasted a hint of cinnamon and something else, something raw and utterly carnal. I couldn't name it, not exactly; I only knew it was like nothing I had ever encountered before. I wanted more, so much more. Our tongues thrust together, eager and needy. I found myself gripping his shirt, holding him to me as if I feared he would slip away.

Heat was building inside me which slowly spread and branched through the rest of me. My nipples hardened and strained against my shirt, abrading with my every movement. My legs weakened just as the Doctor growled and sprang away from me.

"Doctor?" I asked breathlessly.

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair; his expression was pained as he started to mumble to himself.

"I can't do this ... I can't ..."

I watch him sympathetically. "Doctor?" I asked again, my breathing a bit less labored.

"I can't!" His eyes were wild. "If I do this ... If _we_ do this ... I will be completely lost to you Clara." His voice lowered to a whisper. "I'm afraid. I don't know what to do."

The Doctor hung his head in shame, as if he had just revealed one of the worse secrets ever. He sank down onto the large bed he had wandered next too. I felt a surge a compassion for him.

"Why are you afraid?" I asked, matching his whispering tone.

Not looking at me, the Doctor kept his head down. "Because if we take the next step ... if we go there, it will be all too real, and when I lose you, I don't know if I can survive it. My future self was right ... this is insanity."

I couldn't help notice his choice of words. _When he loses me._ Not, if he lost me ... But for some reason the choice of words did not frightened or worry me. Somehow the visit of the future Doctor had been that confirmation we had both been denying ourselves, well for me it had been.

I had always known there was something different about me, that I had to do something and the older I got, the more urgent that need was becoming. I had always assumed I was just an ambitious woman, but now, being here with the Doctor, it was all starting to make sense.

"We both know you will live through this, Doctor." I said firmly, referring to seeing his future self.

"We officially changed the future, Clara. You changed it, nothing is sure anymore."

"Doctor, you will be fine, we all are." I repeated, a bit more sternly.

The Doctor's eyes widened at my forceful tone. Finally looking up at me in surprise, as if he knew what I wanted. He stared at me in a trance. I slowly moved towards him. Reaching him in less than ten steps, I stood before him, clutching the small jumper I had wrapped around my shoulders earlier. Hesitantly, I moved to sit on his lap so that I faced him, resting a leg on each side of him. The Doctor froze in his seat, but he made no attempt at moving me from him.

Not yet, at least.

I gazed at him intensely, my hands lifting slowly to cup his face. My movements were hesitant and uncertain, and although the Doctor's eyes were full of uncertainty, he did nothing to stop me.

"No more thinking Doctor," I whispered. My heart sputtered for a moment.

The Doctor quirked one brow in my direction, seeming bemused as my hands trailed down the length of his arms to take his hands in my own.

"Clara ... I – I need to think." The Doctor started slowly, his tone confused and almost sounding pained. "We should talk about this, what if this is what sets things in motion for your end –?"

But the Doctor was unable to finish his sentence. I had enough of this. I suddenly felt this boldness surge inside of me. I slowly brought his hands up, my limbs shaking violently. The Doctor simply watched me, hypnotized by my action, I pressed his hands against the soft, fabric of my dress right at the mound of my breasts.

"I don't want to think about that, Doctor; I want you to –" I paused, feeling shy, but I knew I had to say it, for the both of us. "I want you to touch me." I felt heat creep up my cheeks as I blushed profusely.

The realization of what I wanted dawned on the Doctor. A mixture of emotions played on his face. The usually composed and in charge man was coming undone. I knew he cared for me. Actually I knew that it was more than simple caring at this point.

We both had fought this attraction for each other and I was sick and tired of it. The Doctor gave a sudden single nod, his face resolute. He lifted his hands out from under my hold and moved to grip the collar of my jacket. Slowly, he pulled the material from my body, revealing the creamy expanse of my shoulders to his hungry gaze.

"I can't keep fighting you Clara." He spoke softly, his eyes lifting from my body to my eyes. "I also always have been a firm believer in seizing the moment ..."

He reached down to grip me by my waist. Turning roughly, he pressed me down onto his bed, moving to straddle me. He was less hesitant in his actions now, caught up in the aura of lust that had surrounded us both. Bending down, he captured my lips in his own. This time there was a certain urgency to our kiss. My lips parted for him almost instantly, his tongue twirled and danced around mine in a struggle for dominance as he pressed his body against my own. His whiskered skin teased mine and I shivered at the manly feel of him.

The mood of the room was thick with sexual electricity.

He invaded every sense I possessed. His muscles bunched and flexed under my hands as his tongue swept over mine. I heard him growl low and deep in his throat like some caged beast.

I shivered again, as I brushed my fingertips against the warm nape of his neck, playing with the soft tender skin there before I ran my fingers upward, through the chestnut strands of his hair. How I loved the way this man felt in my arms. His earthy smell made my head swim.

The Doctor was obviously more skilled in this area, despite his plea for ignorance, no one could live as long as he had and not have a secret passion hidden deep inside, but that secret was being revealed and I was all too willing to listen and take it all in. Reaching beneath him, the Doctor skillfully released my breasts from the confines of the strapless dress, revealing a strapless red bra. At the sight of the lingerie, he grunted in pleasure, the sound deep and primal.

"Clara, you are my undoing," he breathed against my lips.

I couldn't think straight with his lean body on top of mine, the evidence of his desire pressed up against my stomach. It ignited my own ache for his body to be all over mine. Never in my life had I wanted a man like this. He dipped his head to my neck; his teeth scraped my skin as he nipped it tenderly.

Reaching behind me, he unhooked the bra from the back and shimmied the flimsy piece of satin and silk down my arms before discarding it to the side.

Without breaking his hold, the Doctor laid on top of me and kissed me fully and deeply. He grounded his swollen groin against the part of me that suddenly ached for him with an unnatural urgency. Moans of pleasure escaped my mouth as I started to fumble with his shirt, clumsily trying to unbutton shirt. The Doctor chuckled low at me impatience's, but having enough of the blasted thing, I grabbed a fistful of the soft fabric and simply pulled on each side, tearing the buttons off.

"Hey, I loved that shirt!" He cried, shocked, looking down at his exposed chest.

"I'll get you a new one." I murmured pulling him back down.

His mouth crashed into mine as we both worked at taking the rest of the shirt off from him. My hands slipped to his back, feeling the warm, smooth skin. I hissed at how wonderful he felt.

Prying his mouth from me, the Doctor panted hard as he stood and with a mischievous grin extended his hand out for me to take. I sat up and with an expert hand he unzipped my dress and helped me remove it. Naked except for my underwear I blushed as the Doctor's eyes stared with an insatiable hunger. With a new found haste, he tore off his trousers.

With speed he laid back down and dipped his head, kissing the vulnerable skin on my neck. I moaned in response at the incredible sensation.

"Clara ... my Clara ..." The Doctor murmured softly. He stopped and everything paused around us. Grabbing my hand he intertwined his fingers with mine. He gazed down at me in the most loving way. "I want you to listen very careful ... I will tell you something." He paused and I tried to concentrate on what he was saying. His perfect, lean naked body pressed against mine was making it hard to remember my own name. I nodded for him to continue. "It's my name, telling you my name is like sharing a promise, it's special and should never be shared with anyone else."

I felt my breath hitched. I knew with his tone and the way he looked at me, this was nothing to be taken lightly and I was just not another woman the Doctor had found, I was the one. The Doctor leaned in close to my ear, so close that his lips touched my lobe. His breath tickled as he whispered the most amazing and magical thing I had ever heard. With that, his hand trailed down to grip the band to my underwear. He jerked the material down roughly and discarded them.

-"You are mine now, Clara Oswald. Forever and I will go to the ends of this universe for you."

With nothing separating us, the Doctor pressed himself against me and showed me how special I really was.

**oOo**

Several hours later I groggily woke up to find myself snuggled up against the Doctor chest. A small smile curled on my lips as I recalled our night together. The Doctor had been insatiable and after the fourth time we had made love we had both passed out of sheer exhaustion. Now I found myself still tired and pleasantly sore but something felt wrong.

But before I could wake the Doctor a shrill sound echoed through the room. The Doctor sat up with speed, seeming confused, but moments later he jumped out of the massive bed and rushed for the door.

"Doctor?!" I called, "Doctor?" He skidded to a stop and turned to me. "What is that sound?"

"The TARDIS alarm, something is wrong."

I nodded and jumped out of bed just as the doctor rushed out the door. "Doctor!" I called again, "you are naked! You might want to get dressed." I shouted with a giggle despite the dire situation.

With a lopped sided grin he ran back inside the room, grabbed his trousers and slipped them on at an unimaginable speed. He then rushed back out the door while slipping on his shirt.


	9. Chapter Nine - Crash Landing

**oOo  
Chapter Nine  
Crash Landing  
oOo**

The TARDIS shook and rattled. It took every muscle in my body to keep myself upright as I crossed into the console room where the Doctor was madly running around, pressing buttons and pulling levers. Donna was by his side helplessly clinging to one of the time machines panels.

"The stabilizers are not functioning!" The Doctor shouted over the loud beeps and moans the TARDIS emitted. "I have no control of anything!"

A hard shake tilted everything to the right. I let out a small scream as I felt myself tumble pass the doorway and into the opposite wall. My body hit the metal, smashing my cheek and shoulder into it.

"Clara!" The Doctor shouted. The TARDIS righted itself but still shook with such a violent intensity I wondered if it would break apart. "Donna, hold this." I heard the Doctor bark to her. Moment later I felt his warm hand on my back. "Clara, are you alright?" He asked close to my ear.

With his help I pried myself off the wall.

"Yes, I think so." I nodded. My whole body throbbed, my face ached but none of that seemed very important at the moment. I set my hand on his shoulder to help myself stand upright. "What is going on?"

"You're bleeding." The Doctor frowned, ignoring my question. He reached out and gently swiped his finger on the corner of my mouth.

Instinctively my tongue darted out and tasted the tangy substances of my blood. "I'm fine, Doctor," I assured him, more concern about the massive shaking.

"Doctor!" Donna screamed. We both turned at her shrill cry. Donna held the lever the Doctor had told her too with difficulty, her hands and arms trembled as she slowly lost her grip. "Doctor, help!" she cried again.

Wasting no time and not willing to let me go, the Doctor took my hand in a death grip and pulled me with him as he rushed back to the center console. Stopping near the seats he separated my hand from his and set it on the metal railing.

"Do not let go." He ordered firmly. I nodded, trying hard to not show how scared I was.

I watched the Doctor rush back over to Donna. Her face was covered in sweat; her eyes were clamped shut as she strained to keep the lever stable. The Doctor ran to the opposite side and pressed several buttons.

"Nothing is responding!" The TARDIS shook as if to agree with his statement. The Doctor glanced down at the monitor and furrowed his brow in displeasure. "This is not possible." He rushed to the other side of the console and pushed a large blue button, he then ran back to the screen. "There is no way!"

"What is it Doctor?"

The TARDIS shook again, except this time it felt different. The pressure in the room changed and became oppressively heavy, so much so that it was becoming too hard to stand. I felt the heaviness of the air pressing me down to my knees and then it happened. My whole body lurched and my heart flew into my throat. We were falling. I collapsed onto my stomach, my hands slamming hard on the metal grid. I heard Donna scream as she crumbled to the ground.

"Doctor, what is happening?" I heard myself half-scream, half-gasped for air.

"We're crashing, hold on!"

The TARDIS twisted and we all tumbled off to the right. My body crashed hard into the console and everything went black.

**oOo**

"Clara? Clara?" I felt a wonderfully cool hand sweep over my forehead and down my cheek. I twisted my head, following the lovely frosty feeling it was doing to my skin. "Clara, wake up."

With difficulty I cracked my eyes open. Everything was fuzzy, including the dark figure over me. After blinking several times the room came into focus. The Doctor was crouched over me.

"Hey." I whispered, my throat feeling scratchy and hoarse.

The Doctor gave me a small smile but his face faltered as I tried to sit up and flinched at the pain that shot through my body.

"Nothing is broken, just some bruises." He quickly said.

He set his strong hand behind my back and helped me sit up with difficulty. I glanced down at my now tattered clothing. My shirt and trousers were ripped in several places, along with what appeared to be burn marks. My hands were grimy and I hated to see what the rest of me looked like, but the Doctor was right, nothing felt broken, I was just sore and I knew I would pay for it dearly tomorrow.

I twisted my head to face the Doctor who looked about as good as I felt. His once off-white button shirt was now the color of ash and had a several burn holes and tears. His face was streaked with soot and he had a small gash at the corner of his eyebrow.

"You're hurt!"

Forgetting my own pain I quickly turned and got to my knees facing the Doctor to examine his injury. My hand jetted to his cut to see how severe it was.

"It's okay, I'm fine, Clara." He whispered, grabbing my hand in his. Our fingers automatically intertwined together as if we had done so a million times before.

I gazed at him lovingly for a long moment, relieved that he was safe and unharmed. But as if waking from a dream I recalled his words, _the TARDIS was crashing_. I quickly looked around us and the sight made me gasp. The room was barely recognizable. What remained of the center console was emitting a thick black smoke. The ground was covered in ash and metal debris from the ceiling and walls which had crumbled in.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice strangled by the sad sight.

The Doctor looked behind him, at the console, as if he needed to be reminded of what happened to his precious ship. With a pained look his eyes shut briefly.

"We crashed."

"Where?"

"I am not exactly sure." The Doctor stood and helped me to my feet. "The TARDIS is unresponsive and I didn't want to go have a look outside when you and Donna were unconscious."

I looked down and saw Donna on the other side the room. The Doctor had covered her with his jacket. A small moan escaped from her and we both rushed to her side. I knelt.

"Donna?" I whispered.

She opened her eyes and sat up as if a bolt of lightning had hit her, but as she did so, she let out a pained screamed, clutching her left arm.

"Donna, it's okay, we are safe." I offered soothing.

"My arm," she cried. "It hurts."

The Doctor knelt next to us and with care he touched her arm.

"It's fractured. It must have happened when one of the ceiling beams fell on you."

Donna cradled her arm close to her chest.

"Can't you do anything with all the spaceman technology you have?" She snapped.

"I'm afraid not." The Doctor stood and walked to what remained of the console. He hit a few buttons but nothing except sparks happened. "The TARDIS is too damaged; she needs time to recharge before I can attempt to do anything."

"So we are stuck here?" Donna retorted.

I stood up and helped Donna to her feet.

"I'm afraid so."

"Where is here?" I asked approaching the Doctor.

His face grew. "I don't know."

But I knew he was lying. He knew where he was, he just didn't want to tell me. "Shouldn't we have a look?" I asked glancing at the door.

As if right on cue a loud voice boomed from the outside.

"Doctor, you cannot hide in there forever. Why don't you come out and say hello?"

The voice pierced through me like a set of knifes. The voice that I had heard before and that haunted my dreams.

"Is that –?" Donna started.

"Simeon's." The Doctor and I finished at the same time.

"How ...?"

The Doctor ran to the TARDIS door and pressed his ear against it.

"I am a patient man Doctor, but I think for both our benefits you really should come out." Simeon boomed.

"We are safe as long as we stay in here, right?" Donna asked rushing up behind the Doctor.

"Both you and I know you are defenseless Doctor, I suggest you come out before I am force to take more drastic measures." Simeon shouted as if he had heard Donna's question.

"Doctor?"

Turning around the Doctor wore a serious look, his gaze refusing to meet mine.

"While the TARDIS is recharging she is vulnerable and can't protect us from anything."

I knew then what he was saying. He had to go out there and face Walter Simeon.

"Doctor you can't go out there." Donna said, her voice climbing in panic.

"I don't think we have much of a choice right now. I can't let Simeon get in the TARDIS." He turned to me and gave me a half-hearted smile. "I just need to distract him long enough for the TARDIS to recharge, and then we can get out of here." Taking the few steps that separated us, the Doctor took my hands in his. "I will return shortly, just stay here, please."

Before I could argue the Doctor leaned in and gave me a lingering kiss that left me breathless and he was gone.

**oOo**

Donna and I watched the TARDIS door shut tightly behind the Doctor. Shuffling and mumbling echoed from the other side.

"He is going to get himself killed." Donna angrily glared at the door.

Donna's words rang through my head. I could not let him do this, she was right; he was going to get himself killed. Without thinking my body spurred into motion. I charged to the door, bound and determined to rush out, but when I reached the door and pulled on the handle to get out the door didn't budge. I yanked outwards again and the only sound that came was the clink of metal from the lock being in place.

"No, no, open!" Looking down at the door I searched for a lock to undo but there was nothing there to unlock. The Doctor had somehow locked the door and made it impossible for anyone to leave or enter. Angrily I grasped the doorknob. I pulled and pushed making the doors violently shake. "Open the door!" I screamed at no one in particular.

My heart sped up and my stomach churned at the realization that was falling on me. The Doctor knew this was that moment, the moment I had waited for my entire life. It was the reason I was here. I had to save the Doctor.

"Clara, calm down!" Donna approached me from the back. "We will find another way."

"I have to get out there, Donna!" I turned to face the woman who I did not know at all yet who understood me the most.

"I know you do and we will find a way, but first you have to calm down." She gently put her hand out as if trying to approach a wild animal.

My labored breathing made my chest heave up and down rapidly as I tried to calm myself. She was right, I had to calm down and think straight. Donna slowly took a step towards me, then another until her unhurt hand wrapped around mine. She motioned with her head to step away from the door and to go take a seat in what remained of the TARDIS seats.

As we walked towards the old stools, broken glass lay on the ground and I caught a glimpse of my reflection. It became clear why Donna had been so hesitant on approaching me. My hair was wild and snarled every which way. Most of my exposed skin was dirty with smudges of soot, and some dried blood had smeared on my cheek from my cut. But what I really noticed were my eyes. They were wild and erratic, they were the eyes of someone desperate who would do anything to get things done, and I knew deep down that I would.

"Are there any other exits?" I asked Donna after sitting for several minutes in silence.

"No, not that I am aware of." Donna sighed, obviously feeling discouraged.

Neither one of us spoke for a long time. There was no point. We were both locked in the TARDIS with no way of leaving until the Doctor let us out.

**oOo**

I don't know how much time had gone by, but at some point both Donna and I had fallen asleep. I briefly wondered if I suffered some sort of concussion. My head throbbed and every limb on my body was sore, but for a very short moment I could have sworn I had heard the Doctor speak to me, telling me that it was time to wake up. To my dismay though I was still in the run-down TARDIS.

A loud crash suddenly made both Donna and I jump. It had come from outside the TARDIS walls.

"Clara, I know you are in there and I suggest you come out." The voice of Simeon loudly rang through the TARDIS door. I stood and slowly walked to the door with every intention of leaving, until Donna abruptly stopped me.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Going out there." I stated the obvious, much calmer then I felt.

"Are you mad?" She cried. "You heard the Doctor, he told us to wait here."

"I have to go out there, Donna." I gave her a weak smile, "it's my destiny, and I have to save the Doctor."

"No way, this is exactly what Simeon wants, you can't do this. If there is one thing I learned from the Doctor is that there is always another way." Tears appeared in her eyes as if she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

"Donna ..." I gave her a sad smile. "I was born to save the Doctor." She shook her head but I could see it in her eyes that she was willing to hear me out so I continued. "I will go out there and somehow find a way to distract Simeon. You will need to get the Doctor back in here and get him away from here safely."

"No way!" She glared. "There is no way the Doctor will leave you behind ... _I _will not leave you here." Donna started to pace. "We will both go out there and see what is going on, and then we will all get out together."

"Donna, we don't know what is going on. I have no intentions of staying behind, but we have the advantage that Simeon seems clueless that you are here. You just need to get the Doctor in here; I will take care of the rest."

Donna stopped pacing and gave me an assessing look, as if she wasn't quite sure if I was telling the truth or not, but either way it was the best plan we had on short notice. She gave a reluctant single nod.

"There is just one problem, the doors are locked."

Glancing at the TARDIS doors it was as if someone had waved a magic wand. The sound of a single lock clicked loudly breaking the silent, still air. It would seem someone else agreed with my plan. I looked around at the time machine and wondered if there was more to the ship then I previous thought.

I walked to the door and gave Donna a last glance before stepping out of the protective cocoon of the TARDIS.

**oOo**

As soon as I stepped out of the TARDIS, the door shut with a loud bang. I was grabbed by each arm and I had to stifle the scream that wanted to escape from my lips at the sight of my captors. The faceless creatures which had a vague depression where the eyes should have been grabbed my arms with force. Their white faces with blacked skin around their mouths were like a sight out of a horror film.

The beasts wore the same Victorian garb as Simeon and were not exactly the fastest moving beings, but they were strong and held onto my arm with a death grip. I didn't fight them and let them led me to where they wanted to take me.

The TARDIS had been parked in a small alcove but once we cleared the small space, it revealed a giant warehouse of some sort. It was empty except for a cage in the center of the room with a low hanging light bulb dangling from its wire. The cage was vacant and there was no sign of the Doctor anywhere.

"Ah, there you are, my dear Clara. I am pleased you decided to join us of your own free will." Walter Simeon called from a dark corner of the room.

I squinted trying to see but the storehouse was so dark it was almost impossible to discern anything beyond a few feet in front of me.

"Where is the Doctor?" I called as my faceless captors stopped walking and stilled me in place.

"I think what you should ask is what have I _done_ with the Doctor." Simeon countered with a slight glee to his voice.

My heart plummeted at his words,_ was I too late?_ Before I could ask Simeon what he meant a few dim lights popped on in the corner where he stood. He gave me a dark smile as my eyes wandered to the ominous machine he stood next too. The contraption was littered with blinking lights and levers. As my eyes traveled the length of it all it landed to a chair which contained the Doctor.

"Doctor!" I screamed, making a dash to run to his side, but the creatures hold got even tighter making it impossible for me to move.

The Doctor sat limply in the chair, his arms were strapped down and there was several wires stuck to his skull which were connected to the machine behind him. His head rolled from one side to the other as if he was fighting unconsciousness. His skin was a sickly white and covered in sweat.

"What did you do to him?" I wailed, pulling at my jailers again.

Simeon laughed as if my reaction amused him.

"I needed information from him and he refused to cooperate." Simeon glanced to the Doctor with a look of regret. "So I devised this machine, it can extract any thought from a mind." He paused and gave me the most leery smile I had seen on a person. "The only problem is it tends to fry the mind in the process." He giggled and nodded to my captors.

The monsters holding me dragged me to the cage and with a quick push, threw me inside, shutting the heavy iron door. Simeon casually strolled over to the cage as the faceless men strolled to the Doctor and worked on unhooking his arms.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, quickly picking myself off the ground to face him.

-"Like you, my dear Clara, I have been scattered throughout the Doctor's timeline, in hopes to destroy everything good he has done. What I had not planned is for you to follow me in and right all my wrongs." Simeon stopped inches from the cage. His ghastly sleeked back hair and pasty color eyes glared at me with vile hatred. "I failed every attempt to destroy him, until today." Simeon leaned in, his repulsive stale breath wafted over my face. He was too close but I refused to move, to be intimidated by him. "Today, I will learn the Doctor's name and I will go back to Trenzalore, before the Doctor can be warned and I shall destroy him properly."

"He will never tell you his name." I grounded out in anger.

Simeon stepped even closer, his chest pressed against the bars, touching my hands. "He won't have too, because you will tell me everything I need to know."


	10. Chapter 10 - Destiny Awaits

**Chapter 10  
Destiny awaits**

The strange faceless men had picked up a limp Doctor from his seat and dragged him to my cage. Walter Simeon stood by and watched as they roughly dropped him face first on the cement floor. Wasting no time I quickly dropped to my knees and with some effort flipped him on to his back.

I gently set his head on my lap as I combed back the dark hair from his forehead to reveal a giant gash and several bruises on his face.

The cage door shut with a loud slam making me jump and glance up. Simeon gave me a sinister smile.

-"Enjoy your time with him because it will be your last."

-"I will never tell you anything."

-"You won't have too, Miss Oswald. My mind-melding machine will take what it needs." Simeon started to walk away but stopped in his track. He turned his head in my direction. "I have to make a few modifications to my mind-melding machine, to fit your human brain so it does not fry before I get the information I need." With that he walked away. Once he was out of sight, the lights all turned off, except for the small bulb above us.

I glared in the direction Simeon had went for a moment longer but a moan coming from the Doctor brought me back to the task at hand.

-"Doctor?" I spoke softly, my voice echoed throughout the room, but nothing. When he didn't respond I felt my stomach sink. "Please be okay." I whispered.

I sat back to get a bit more comfortable, keeping his head steady on my lap. He didn't seem to have anything wrong with him except for the few cuts and bruises on his face and hands. But Simeon had said that his machine fried the brain, what if he had some sort of brain damage? I had to find a way to get us out of here.

Looking around the dark warehouse it appeared that Walter had not left any guards to watch us, which could either mean he was careless or he had nothing to worry about and with all the planning he had done I doubted he was being careless, but I still had to try to get us out of here. There was nothing nearby that could help us except one thing. Silently praying I reached down the Doctor's chest and slipped my hand into his trouser pocket since he was not wearing his overcoat or blazer.

I felt around the first pocket and found nothing except for several odd items, like some rubber bands, a pair of dice and a glove. I moved to the other pocket.

-"If you do not stop that, we will have a lot more explaining to do to Simeon then I care to do." The Doctor suddenly spoke, making me jump.

I glanced to the Doctor's face, which held a small grin.

-"Oh hush you." I giggled, despite myself. "I am looking for your sonic." The Doctor nodded and tried to sit up but as he did so he let out a loud gasp of pain. He doubled over, clutching his ribs. Forgetting the sonic screwdriver I quickly put my hands on his arm. "What is it, what hurts?"

He shrugged from my touch and with great pain he sat up.

-"It's nothing." He grunted while scooting over to the bars and leaned his back on them. Ignoring his dismissal I moved with him and before he could stop me, I lifted his shirt to reveal two dark bruises on his chest. "Leftovers from Simeon's machine." He shrugged and reached into his pocket getting the sonic screw driver out. He aimed it to the door but nothing happened.

-"What is wrong?"

-"I'm not sure." He brought the screwdriver back to eye level and after examining it for a moment he aimed at the door again. "There is some sort of dampening field around here that is interfering with the sonic screwdriver." The Doctor's arm fell to his side and he let out a great sigh. "We will have to figure out another way."

He placed his sonic back in his pocket and leaned back. The Doctor stared at the caged ceiling with an air of despair to his face.

-"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

-"Sorry for what?" I scooted next to him, leaning my back against the cold bars.

-"I should have taken you home."

He turned his head towards me. His eyes matched the desperate look on his face.

-"You know very well I would have never gone back."

The Doctor chuckled then quickly winced at the pain.

-"Possibly, but you would have been safe, Clara, and not here, in this ... predicament."

I set my hand on the Doctor's tight and gave it a comforting squeeze.

-"I want to be here, with you, Doctor, and we will get out of this."

The Doctor sighed and set his big warm hand on top of mine. Neither one of us spoke, but the silence between us said it all. How were we going to get out of this? The sonic screwdriver was useless and we were locked in an iron cage. Thing looked bleak and to add to that feeling, Simeon took that instant to make another appearance at the door of our cage.

Suddenly worried he was coming to get one of us, I gripped the Doctor's hand tightly, shrinking further into the bars, hoping they might swallow me. Seeing my reaction the Doctor wasted no time, he swiftly stood on his two feet seeming to forget his pain, pulling me up with him. He took a protective stance in front of me.

-"Simeon, there is no need for this. It's not too late to stop this."

Simeon chuckled. A shivered ran down my spine. The sound of his laughter was completely voided of any warmth, it was as cold and hollow as the warehouse we were prisoners in.

-"Now why would I want to do that, when I have you right where I want you?"

-"This cage will not keep me in." The Doctor's voice changed. It was firm and held a hint of threat.

-"Oh, I know it won't. It doesn't have to keep you in much longer."

-"You are letting us go?" He asked cautiously.

Simeon stepped closer to the cage; his face was passive and showed no emotion.

-"Not exactly." Simeon eyes narrowed on the Doctor. "You will have to make a choice."

-"Which is?"

-"Have you heard of Trenzalore, Doctor?" The Doctor's whole body stiffened but Simeon just kept talking. "Of course you have." Simeon gave a disgusting smirk. "I have been there and so have you ... Or you will be." He waved his hand through the air dismissing his words as if they didn't matter.

But they did matter, to me. I had no idea what Trenzalore was and why the word itself made the Doctor break into a sweat.

-"I can't go there, and neither can you!" The Doctor snapped.

-"But see that is where you are wrong. When I went there I had not predicted that _she_ would interfere as she did." Simeon's face contorted into an angry glare at me. "I am not a blind man; I saw how she looked at you, the future you. Her love for him – you, is perverse! But I knew I could use that to my advantage, I knew it was a matter of time before one of your damn incarnations would fall for her and give her the information that I need." Simeon shrugged. "You are so bloody sentimental."

The Doctor's whole body shook with rage. I had never seen him so angry and the sight was quite unnerving.

-"I will go to Trenzalore Doctor, with the information that I need, even before your future self is aware of what is happening and I will change your timeline properly, without interference."

-"You can't do this!" The Doctor rushed to the bars and gripped them so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "You said I had a choice, what is that choice?" He yelled at Simeon, losing control of his usually perfect demeanor.

-"It's quite simple. You either tell me what I need to know." Simeon paused dramatically. "Tell me your name Doctor ... and you can simply walk away from this with Clara. Or I will take the information from her." He pointed at me.

-"I will not agree to any of those!"

-"I figured as much." Simeon shrugged. "But to help you decide I have hooked my mind-melding machine to your TARDIS, so if you do not pick either one it will overload your time machine."

-"But that will make the TARDIS blow up! If that happens the whole of time and space will end." The Doctor screamed outraged.

-"Well then Doctor, you have to decide, what is more important, your life, your wife's life or the whole universe." Simeon chuckled and started to walk away. "You have twenty minutes to decide. I am sure you will make the right choice."

Simeon turned around and left as swiftly as he had come but the Doctor remained as still as a statue.

-"Doctor?" I asked softly. When he didn't respond I approached him from behind and set my hand gently on his arm. "Doctor? I repeated. This time he turned around. His face was hard and he somehow looked older and tired. "Doctor, what is Trenzalore?"

I watched him swallow thickly several times.

-"It's – It is where my grave is ... where I will die."

-"What?" I gasped, suddenly feeling an onslaught of a million questions coming on.

-"Every Time Lord knows of a place and time to not go, the place where we will die. Mine is Trenzalore.

-"But ... You are the Doctor, you can't die."

-"We all die, Clara." He said somberly. "Some of us just live much longer then we should." The Doctor suddenly sounded exhausted. "It would seem my future self was somehow lured there and Simeon got access to my time stream and you – you jumped in to save me ..."

-"And that is how I ended up here ... That is why everyone says I am an echo."

The Doctor gave a single nod which seemed to pain him.

Feeling that awful sinking feeling in my stomach I felt my legs sag beneath my weight. No matter how many times I heard those words, it never got any easier. I was nothing but a mere copy of the real thing. The Doctor hurried to my side.

-"It's okay, Clara, we will get out of this. I swear." The Doctor whispered softly, taking my sadness for the fact that we were stuck.

The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and with a determined look on his face he immediately started to fiddle with the tool. I watched him work as he made several adjustments and seemed completely lost to the task until he flipped the small lid shut to the screw driver. He gave it a once over. Seeming satisfied he put the sonic down next to him.

-"What did you do?"

-"I adjusted the settings to match the frequency on the mind-melding machine."

I furrowed my brow.

-"What does that mean?"

-"It means that you are getting out of here."

With one quick swooped, the Doctor jumped to his feet and helped me up to mine. He grabbed the sonic screwdriver and clutched it tightly in his hand as he walked to our cage door and with a light push the door swung open.

-"It was never locked?" I gasped, wishing I had noticed that earlier.

-"He didn't need to lock it. He linked the TARDIS to the machine, so until it gets what it wants, we and the TARDIS are not getting out of here."

-"So what are we going to do?"

The Doctor kept his back to me.

-"Well ... You will walk to the TARDIS and get inside. I will sit in the mind-meld machine." He held up the screw driver. "I adjusted the settings to the sonic so when the machine links up with me I will just press this button here, and it should disrupt it long enough to sever the link with the TARDIS. The mind-melding machine will overload and it will destroy itself. The TARDIS will detect the threat which will activate the emergency protocol and take you home."

-"But – what about you?"

-"I should be fine." He replied flatly.

-"Doctor." I groaned with a warning. "Simeon said that machine will fry a brain, so what will happen to you?"

-"Clara ..." The Doctor's tone was pained.

He finally turned around and to my shock his face was damp with tears. I felt my heart break as the realization of everything came upon me. He meant to save me, again.

I wanted to rush to him, but I found myself frozen in place.

-"Doctor?" My voice whispered softly.

He swallowed hard, piercing me with his eyes as he focused them on mine. His eyes were unblinking.

-"Clara, you are the light."

All I could feel was shock. At first. Then after a few seconds, the shock gave way to the most intense feeling I had ever felt. Happiness mixed with the saddest sorrow. I was the light? I didn't fully understand what the comment even meant, but the way he had said it, and the words he had chosen were enough to send waves of bitter happiness splashing through me.

I was also speechless. I knew I should have said something … anything … but words failed me. And, it would seem I wasn't the only one, because both the Doctor and I stood there, staring at each other as if in a shared stupor.

-"Doctor ... You cannot do this ... I am meant to save you." I said at last, finally finding my tongue.

I took a step toward him, and reached for his hand, but he stepped back from me. Confused by his reaction I furrowed my brow.

-"There is nothing but darkness in me." He explained immediately, his heavy gaze moving from the hand I'd tried to touch him to my sad expression. His tone of voice was deep, but pained. "I have brought nothing but suffering to people ... I have lost so much, and that is because I am darkness."

-"No," I argued immediately, shaking my head fervently and barely aware of the tears unabashedly streaming down my face. He cleared his throat as if it were hard for him to admit any of this and then he looked away again, almost as if he couldn't bear to look me in the eyes. "No, Doctor, you are not darkness," I started again, but my throat constricted, cutting off my voice, as a tide of sadness washed over me.

-"I am going to save you Clara. You are my wife; I did not tell you my name just because of a moment of pleasure. I love you and I will not let you, or anyone else sacrifice themselves for me anymore." The Doctor clutched the sonic screwdriver tightly in his hand.

The Doctor's face was contorted with pain and anguish as I stood as still as I could. My palms grew clammy as sweat began beading along the small of my back, tickling me as it dripped. I couldn't let the Doctor die like this. He was not meant to die. I was.

And then, like a beacon in the darkness, the answer appeared.

I knew he was going to hate me for this.

Without another thought I spurred into motion. With force I charged at the Doctor, knocking him off his feet. We both went crashing to the ground. The door to our jail cell flung open as our bodies hit it with a loud crash. The Doctor let out a cry of surprise as he slid against the bars and banged his head with a loud clang.

Breathing hard I stamped down the surge of guilt and quickly rolled off the Doctor but that proved unnecessary because I had knocked him unconscious. With speed I stood and shimmied out of my jumper and grabbed both of the Doctor hands. I hastily bound them to the iron cage bars. I tried hard to ignore the stabbing guilt my heart was getting. The Doctor moaned.

-"Clara?" He croaked, sounding disoriented but it didn't last long, he pulled at his hands. "Clara, what are you doing?"

I knelt near him, making sure the bindings were secure and not harming him. I gave him a sad smile.

-"I am doing what I was born to do." I whispered.

-"No." He pulled at his hands again, this time with more vigor, making the cell rattle. "Clara, do not do this!"

I sighed and gently cupped his face, relishing at the feel of his scratchy whiskered skin on his cheek. His eyes were locked on mine with a sadness that almost overwhelmed me. Tears pooled in my eyes as the realization hit me that I would never touch this man again.

-"I love you." I leaned in and my lips locked with his in one last kiss. My hand curled around in his shirt as I clutched it tightly, bringing him closer to me. Tears freely ran down my cheek and mingled with the fresh tears the Doctor was shedding.

-"Please, Clara." He mumbled, turning his head away from me. His voice cracked. "I can't lose you ... it will destroy me."

-"No it won't." I pulled away and gently wiped away his tears. "You will survive this and you will see me again."

Before the Doctor could protest I quickly stood, immediately missing the closeness of his body. I glanced around our cell and spotted the sonic screwdriver which I grabbed and stared at my destiny ... the giant mind-melding machine.

-"Clara, please! You will not survive this ... there is a chance I could!"

But I ignored the Doctor's outburst. I kept my eyes on the chair and the task at hand. I just had to sit in the chair and hold the sonic's button, which would hopefully disrupt the machine long enough to trick it into thinking it had the information it needed, and it would release the TARDIS. But in the process it would take all my memories ... and my life, causing the machine to destroy itself.

-"You don't have to do this!" The Doctor shouted from behind me. "We already changed the future, we can change it again!"

-"Sometimes the life we live is already chosen." I replied sadly, remembering what the other Doctor told me. I had to do this, I was not real. The real Clara had jumped into the Doctor's time stream to save him. She had willingly sacrificed herself for him, and I would do the same. I approached the chair and felt my stomach angrily churn.

I ignored the fright climbing inside of me and sat down as I heard the Doctor fumble and pull at his restrains. He pulled and tugged, letting out a frustrated howl. I had to hurry. I sat back and took a deep breath just as I heard footsteps rushing towards us. I glanced to the left of the cage where Donna appeared. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of me in the chair and the Doctor bound tightly to the iron bars.

-"Donna, Donna!" The Doctor shouted. "Untie me, fast!"

She rushed over but paused before undoing his hands.

-"What is going on?"

-"Just untie me!" He screamed angrily at her, which made her flinched and take a step back.

-"Donna ... just get him out of here." I begged.

-"Don't you dare!" The Doctor screamed. "We can find another way!"

-"Doctor, to you, I haven't been born yet, and I have been dead for thousands of years." I paused trying to control the surge of emotions. "To you I am a ghost."

I suddenly felt the machine spring to life as several wires snaked out and connected themselves to my head. I tried to remain as calm as I could. I clutched the sonic screwdriver tightly in my hand and tried to move my finger to the button I had to press but I was completely immobilized. I couldn't move anything— not my hands, my arms or even my legs. I was rooted in place.

Frightened by this sudden realization, I tried desperately to move my hands and, when that failed, my legs, but again, to no avail. I was paralyzed. Another intense wave of anger filled me as feelings of desperation immediately took its place. A searing pain that emanated from the back of my head and threaded itself through my entire body struck me like being plunged into ice. I winced in agony as the pain stitched itself through my every last nerve.

Seconds later, intense nausea began in the pit of my stomach. Another wave of pain and nausea confronted me and I couldn't focus on anything else but the burning ache until it passed a few seconds later. I could feel the mind-melding machine scanning my thoughts, looking for what it needed.

Somewhere in the distance I hear the Doctor howl.

With pain I cracked my eyes open. My vision was blurry but I could make out Donna bent over the Doctor, helping him out of his bindings and getting him to stand up.

-"Doctor ..." I whispered. They both paused but Donna kept a firm hand on his arm, not letting him get away from her. "I love you ..."

Another wave of intense pain made my whole body stiffened as if a strong charge of electricity had been shot through my body. My jaw clutched tightly in great pain as I fought at my paralyzed state. My finger moved just a few inches, but far enough so I could press the sonic screwdriver's button.

I felt myself starting to slip away as the machine ate at my memories and thoughts, slowly taking everything away from me, but before I could forgot why I was here, I let the weight take over and pressed the button on the sonic.

-"Run ..." I felt my lips move, unsure where the thoughts and words were coming from. "Run you clever boy ... and remember me."

Another giant spike of pain coursed through me, and everything went dark.


	11. Chapter 11 - The final hour

**Chapter 11  
The final hour**

The Doctor let out a bellow of fury while he sat helplessly watching his Clara's body grow stiff as the mind-melding machine took hold of her. Her eyes fluttered shut and she clutched her beautiful brown eyes tight. Tears sprang from them. The bright tears freely ran down her cheek.

Unable to watch anymore, the Doctor began to struggle at his bindings, he had to get to her, fast. He pulled and twisted at his wrists with all the strength he could muster. He felt the fabric cutting deeply into his skin but he didn't care, he had to get Clara. He pulled, tugged and shook the whole cage violently trying to free himself. The iron cage rattled loudly over the mind-melding machine hum. The Doctor let out another howl of frustration.

-"Clara!" He roared violently.

His outcry must have brought Donna out of her stupor because she suddenly spurred into motion and rushed to his side to help him out of the tight handcuffs Clara had made with her sweater.

-"We need to get out of here." Donna panted out while she struggled at the bindings.

-"Not until I get Clara." He shouted, unable to control the level of his voice.

Both his hearts were beating erratically. He felt his stomach churn and his mind clouded in a haze of anger and grief. All he could see was Clara's limp body, sickly splayed on the chair like some discarded ragdoll.

-"No, Doctor!" Donna shouted back. "It's too late for her. We need to go."

The Doctor ignored Donna and kept his eyes on Clara, her head had slumped forward and her whole posture had sunk down. The sonic screwdriver that she had clung to so tightly had been released and laid on her lap.

-"No, no!" He screamed, grief-stricken at the sight of his wife. "She can't – " He swallowed thickly at the bile rising in his throat.

Donna untighten the last of the knots that held his hands together. His arms fell limply on his lap. They tingled from having been in the same position over his head for so long but he ignored the uncomfortable feeling. He scrambled to his feet, ready to dash over to Clara, but he felt Donna's hand wrap around his arm.

-"Doctor, we have to go, this whole place is about to blow." She pleaded, but the Doctor ignored her again and made another attempt to go rescue Clara, only to be held back. "Please, Doctor!" She begged. "Don't let her sacrifice be for nothing. She did this to save you, to save the whole universe, we have to go or the TARDIS will explode."

Donna's begging words slowly sunk in. He knew Donna was right. The TARDIS would blow up and cause the universe to collapse in on itself. Has much as this pained him, he had to go ... he had to leave Clara. Tears sprang to his eyes as he looked around and realized that the mind-melding machine had caught fire and was emitting several distressing beeps.

At the same moment Walter Simeon dashed into the room with a loud scream.

-"No, no!"

Without faltering a step he ran right to the machine where the flames roared to life. Simeon disappeared into the dark cloud of smoke in hopes of saving his machine, but after a minor explosion nearby, the fire wildly sprung up and it became obvious that Simeon would not be coming out.

-"Doctor, please." Donna begged again.

Glancing back at Donna's face, the Doctor didn't fail to notice the tears that stained her face. Donna Noble. One of the strongest women he had come to know needed him to get her out of here. The Universe needed his help once again. It was a vicious cycle with no happy ending in sight for him. The Doctor's shoulders sagged as he squared his jaw and bit back all the foul things he wanted to sputter and scream at the injustice of it all.

He faced the mind-melding machine which was fully engulfed in flames. He couldn't see Clara anymore. She was gone. He stared at flames for a moment longer, silently promising he would find his wife, whether it was in this life or the next, he would get his Clara back. The Universe owed him that and he didn't care what it would take, he would get his Clara back.

With that he shook out of Donna's grasped and turned towards the TARDIS.

-"Let's get out of here." He ordered.

* * *

**Today's Clara.**

Clara woke up with a start. Her body was covered in sweat. She panted hard, trying to catch her breath all the while frantically looking around. In panic she grabbed her chest and patted her whole body down.

-"I am okay ..." She whispered, realizing she was in her bed. "It was just a dream."

She exhaled a long pent up breath she didn't realize she was holding. She was not dead. The dream though ... it had sure felt like she was dying. She could still feel the awful machine she had sat in as it had wormed its way through her thoughts, slowly eating and burning away everything that had been her...

Suddenly feeling sick and unbearable hot, Clara kicked her feet out of the blankets and sat on the edge of the bed. She glanced around her small room, which looked foreign to her. She remembered every single thing is this room. From the worn book of places she wanted to visit to the tiny ballerina jewelry box, she knew them all, but it was almost like she had been away for a long time and had forgotten all about them.

Clara jumped to her feet, suddenly feeling restless. There had been something about the dream ... something that felt off. She had died, to save the Doctor. But not her Doctor, another version of him, another face. A face that she didn't know, or at least not in this life but she knew him or at least she felt like she should know him.

As the seconds ticked by, more details came rushing back to Clara's mind. Things that were simply to detailed to just have been a dream. The way the Doctor had looked, the way he smelled ... the ways he had loved her. His name. He had told her his name. It had been very quick, but she recalled every syllable he had spoken to her that night

He had told her his name.

Clara quickly rushed to the small nightstand and grabbed the temperate water. With her hands shaking profusely she thirstily gulped down the liquid. The dream ... it had not been her, and it had not been a dream either. It was a memory, a vision into one of the echoes of herself. In all her previous echoes the Doctor had never seen her, noticed her ... except for this Doctor of course.

But it had been more than a simple encounter. The realization of everything hit Clara hard. The feelings of pain and loss. The love she had felt for the man she had saved.

Clara dropped the glass of water to the floor.

-"Oh God ..." She gasped, wrapping her arms around herself. "Doctor." She sobbed, unsure if she was upset at the fact that the Doctor had hid this from her or because she was happy that she had been able to save him all those years ago, or was her pain from so deep within at what she lost.

As if sensing her pain, the sound she longed to hear rang through the silent house. The TARDIS slowly materialized in the corner of her bedroom. Clara turned to face the blue box and once it was in its solid form she wasted no time and rush to the door. She barged inside, not waiting to be invited in. The door slammed loudly behind her as she suddenly stopped short at the sight of the man who was busy pressing several buttons on the console.

-"Clara, good, I was hoping I was in the right place, I tried once before and ended up in the Empire of Genghis Khan." The Doctor waved his hand through the air. "Let's just say he was not too happy to see me again." He chuckled not bothering to look up. "I was thinking we could go –" He rushed to one side of the console, "to the dwarf world of Aurora, there are real dwarves there, but don't call them that, they will get quite crossed." The Doctor looked up when Clara did not reply. He immediately noticed her ghostly white complexion and saddened expression. He stopped everything, his face sobered right away. "What's wrong?"

Clara slowly walked until she reached the console. Her eyes traveled the TARDIS in a daze. She recalled the old TARDIS ... when it had a more rugged look and she just knew the old Doctor would hate this. She scanned the room until her gaze landed on the Doctor. Her Doctor, the man she had come to know and love. But everything felt different now.

From the day he had come knocked on her door, she had known she would feel things for this man that she had never felt for anyone before. She loved him and she had proven that, but she had never entertained the possibility of their relationship being more than just friends. She actually had never really thought he could do the serious relationship. But now ... now it was different. Her heart swelled and it started to beat erratically.

-"Doctor." She whispered, unsure what else to say.

She didn't have to say anything. His expression fell.

-"You remember."

Clara nodded.

The Doctor quickly looked down at his console. He took a sudden interest in the buttons and levers in front of him trying his best to ignore Clara and the barrage of feelings that assaulted him, feelings he did not want and had buried centuries ago.

-"I had hoped you would never see that part of your echoes life." The Doctor finally spoke, still refusing to look up.

-"Why?" Clara's voice wavered with emotions. "I – We –" But she couldn't seem to finish any of her sentences. All of the memories were still too fresh in her mind.

-"It would just have been better." He mumbled, not willing to elaborate.

Clara, feeling very unsatisfied with his answer stomped over to his side and with surprising strength gripped his arm, forcing him to face her. The Doctor cast his eyes down, he couldn't look at her. Not when she was really seeing him.

But a tiny part of him was screaming to look, to see her finally recognize who he was to her. He lifted his gaze and was met with her big sad eyes. Oh, how he remembered those beautiful chestnut eyes and they finally saw him. The him that he had always been, the man who she had fallen in love with.

-"Doctor ..." She whispered.

Her voice pleading for something from him. He knew that tone. He had heard it before, but he couldn't give her what she wanted, not anymore. Clara reached out and with a gentle tenderness that made his hearts weep, she cupped his cheek. Her warm hand felt heavenly on his cool skin.

She had fallen in love with the man he had been and that man had disappeared long ago. All that remained now were memories, and he had been running from those for almost three hundred years. A sudden strange whisper echoed through the TARDIS, as if the machine itself was speaking to them. It spoke words they had both heard before.

_"The man who forgets."_

That was him. The man who lived with the pain of so much loss, but chose to forget it all and this was no different. He could not give Clara what she sought.

-"It was a dream, Clara." He finally spoke, taking a step back.

Her hand dropped away and the Doctor quickly turned away. He had to get away from her; he could not face what he had lost. With speed he began to walk away.

-"No, it was a memory." Clara spoke clearly from behind him. "We married, you said you loved me ..." The Doctor shook his head no, putting more distance between them, but Clara persisted. "I know your name!"

Stopping in his track the Doctor felt his annoyance flare.

-"That is not me, not anymore!" He shouted angrily. "So whatever fantasy tale that you cooked up in that funny little human brain of yours, you can forget it."

A sob escaped from Clara. The Doctor flinched but refused to turn around.

-"I can't forget it." She whispered.

The Doctor sighed and steeled his nerves before turning around to face Clara. When he did he hated what he was greeted with. Clara's tear-stained face. Her cheeks were bright red and puffy, her big eyes were swollen red, but she was as beautiful as the day he had ran into her at the shop.

-"Clara ..." The Doctor sighed sadly. He wished he could give her what she wanted. "Do you know how much time as gone by since that day I lost you?" She shook her head. "Many years ..." He shook his head sadly. "I cannot give you what you want, Clara." He repeated. "But if you go to the library, you might find what you need there."

The Doctor rushed out of the room, not giving Clara time to reply.

**oOo**

Clara watched the Doctor practically run from the console room. She couldn't help but suddenly feel very unwanted and confused. The rush of emotions that had come back to her was not only overwhelming but just plain strange. It was if everything had been a lie, but it had not because the Doctor had not really loved her after all.

Standing for the longest time, Clara listened to the soft humming of the TARDIS engines. The sound brought a certain comfort and let her gather her thoughts at least enough to realize she needed to get to the library where the Doctor had told she would find everything she needed.

Clara had only been in this part of the TARDIS once before. It was far too large and rather overwhelming. She really couldn't understand why the Doctor needed all these books that he never seemed to read.

Cautiously walking inside, Clara wondered what she was supposed to find here. It would have been better if he could have elaborated. Had he wanted her to find a book? She had once seen a giant volume about the time war ... she thought ... she couldn't quite remember, the thoughts of the book were fuzzy and her recalling it not only made her head hurt it seemed to make the Doctor upset.

Clara headed for the first bookshelf but before she could grab a book to start her search a loud static like noise reverberated through the room.

-"Clara?" A familiar, distant voice spoke.

Surprised, Clara whipped around and found a holographic projection of the man she had seen in her dream. The Doctor.

-"Clara?" It asked again.

-"Y-Yes?" She answered, uncertain it could hear her.

-"Ah, yes there we go." The slightly see-through image turned towards her and gave her the brightest smile. "Hello, Clara."

His tone was soft and made Clara shiver.

-"Doctor?" She paused, "can—can you actually hear me?"

The image of the Doctor was silent for a moment.

-"It's a bit complicated ... Yes and no." Clara frowned and the Doctor let out a musical laugh. "I know you are probably frowning at me right me. I recorded this, sort of." He waved his hand through the air, much like he did now, dismissing certain events that were not important at the moment. "I recorded this and the TARDIS is helping fill in the gaps with things I would probably say."

Clara nodded, still not too sure what exactly that meant, but it was good enough for her.

-"So you knew I would be back in the TARDIS?" Clara stood very still, afraid that if she moved a hair she would lose the image.

-"Well … I know or knew … Ah, this is just confusing." He groaned. "I know my future self will eventually meet you, and I know you are brilliant enough to remember those past lives you had." The Doctor's image flickered slightly. "I know you have questions and that I, well future me, might not answer them."

Clara shook her head.

-"I just don't know what to think ..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I remember it all, you and I ... and you won't even acknowledge any of it."

The Doctor frowned.

-"Clara ... It's complicated ..." He sighed and looked to the ground, almost as if he were ashamed. "Things are happening now, I don't have much time to explain, but I lost you six years ago ... I just sort of been kicking it on my own. Donna is gone and it's just me and I am getting tired." He sighed. "I am not sure but when I do meet you again it will roughly be three hundred years from now ... I've had three hundred years to bury those feelings for you. I have lost ... so much." A small hiccup escape from the Doctor, but he quickly swallowed it. "I know it does not excuse anything I might say to you, but when you died ... a big part of me died with you, and even though I am a new man now – or will be, I know that I won't go back, I won't let myself feel those feelings for you, or anyone again."

As the Doctor spoke Clara realized what he was saying. That whatever it was that they had had, it was over. Whatever it is she had felt for him, it was to stay in the past.

-"I understand." Clara bit out, suddenly feeling very angry and bitter.

The Doctor frowned.

-"No, you don't." He stared at her with deep sorrow. "Just know that I do love you. I love you now and I will still love you in my next life. I might not show it like I did …" The image flickered again as the Doctor doubled over in pain. He let out a loud grunt.

Forgetting she was in front of a hologram Clara rushed over to the image, only to have her hand go through him. "I don't have much time left, Clara..." He groaned. "It's happening now." He flinched as he straightened back up. He turned his head in her direction and she felt her heart hitch. "I love Clara. Please remember that, and remember me as I am now."

The image faded and Clara was left standing once again, alone.

**oOo**

Several days had passed since Clara had seen the Doctor. He had been making himself conveniently scares and Clara was not really sorry about that. She had been thankful for the days to think.

The first day, she had tried to find him. She had never hunted anyone down before, not like this. She had searched high and low in the TARDIS, going through hundreds of rooms, but by the end of the day she had been exhausted and weary. She had of course not found the Doctor. That night she had cried herself to a fitful night sleep, but by morning she had come to a new realization. The words the Doctor had spoken to her from the past were starting to make sense.

She had never been the one he had fallen in love with. Those things had never happened to her. They were hundreds of years in his past. What is it exactly that she wanted from him? To pick back up where they had left off? That was rather ridiculous. He was not the same man, in more ways than one, and she was not that woman he had married.

She was not sure she could ever get over the feelings that were now embedded in her heart but she certainly understood why the Doctor wanted to forget … By the third day, Clara knew it was time.

With care, she walked into the TARDIS console room and found the Doctor down below, fiddling with several wires. When he noticed her approached he quickly stilled and observed her with a fear behind his old eyes.

-"Hi." She spoke softly. Her voice still raw from all the crying she had been doing.

-"Hi."

They both stared each other, as if trying to assess what exactly to do next.

-"What are you doing?" Clara asked, looking at all the wires that were hanging over her head.

-"I am trying to fix the homing beacon I installed."

Clara nodded, feeling slightly awkward but determined to let him know that she was okay ... that they were okay. So she did the only thing the Doctor would understand. She ignored the giant elephant in the room.

-"Remember when you told me about the planet with dwarves ... I thought we could go there." Clara paused. "If you wanted too."

The Doctor kept his hazel gaze on her for a long moment, scrutinizing every inch of her face as if he were analyzing her. Clara held her breath, sure he would tell her no, that she really needed to go home and he didn't want to see her again. But to her relief his lips broke into a wide smile.

-"I'd hoped you would want to go!" He jumped to his feet. "I have been dying to try their hairy ale; I heard it gives you a beard the size of London."

The Doctor rushed by Clara and like an excited child on Christmas morning he rushed up the stairs and out of sight but moments later he rushed back down and grabbed Clara's hand.

-"Thank you." He said sincerely.

With that he pulled her along with him, up the stairs and around the TARDIS console. Letting go of her hand, he scrambled to the lever and pulled it with a hard tug. The TARDIS made its familiar wheezing sound as the engines roared to life. Clara watched him work and although she felt a sadness in her heart, she knew she belonged by this man's side and that he did in fact care for her and he would protect her with his life, and that was enough for her.

The End.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thank you so much for enjoying this little story of mine. I really struggled with the ending. I could have really gone on and made quite a production of it, but when I started writing this story I only wanted a short story and I stuck to that. So it's a bit of a sad ending, but I think it's quite befitting for the fandom itself.**

I do have a NEW Doctor who Fanfic. It is called "Listen for the bad wolf" It features the 12th Doctor and Rose :) Feel free to check it out.

There are two awesome videos for this fanfic on youtube, the link is in my profile.

**Again thank you so much for reading and supporting.**


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